Trainspotting - Irvine Welsh [114]
The guy looks at her wi real hate, but he was lookin like that anywey. It’s only like, now he’s got a reason tae hate her, rather than just because she’s a woman.
The guy’s mates are gaun: — Whoooaah! Whoooaah!, sortay egging this guy on, n he’s jist standin thair shakin wi anger. One ay the workies is danglin like an ape fi the scaffoldin. That’s what thir like, low primates. Too mad!
— Fuck off ya boot! he snarls.
Ali stands her ground though. This is embarrassing, but sortay fun n aw, cause a few people have stopped tae check out the hassle. Two other women, like student types wi backpacks, are standing alongside us. It makes me feel, like really good. Crazy!
Ali, god, that woman is mental, sais: — So ah wis a doll a minute ago whin ye wir hasslin us. Now that ah tell ye tae fuck off, ah’m a boot. Well, you are still a fat, ugly prick, son, and ye always will be.
— And so say all of us, one ay the backpacker women sais, in an Australian accent.
— Fuckin dykes! another guy shouts. That gets right on ma tits, getting called a dyke, just because ah object tae being hassled by revolting, ignorant radges.
— If aw guys wir as repulsive as you, ah’d be fuckin proud tae be a lesbian, son! ah shouts back. Did ah really say that? Too mad!
— You guys have obviously got a problem. Why don’t you just go and fuck each other? the other Aussie says.
Quite a crowd’s gathered and two auld wifies are listening in.
— That’s terrible. Lassies talkin like that tae the laddies, one sais.
— It’s no terrible at aw. Thir bloody pests. It’s good tae see young lassies stickin up for thirsels. Wish it happened in ma day.
— The language though, Hilda, the language. The first wifie puckers her lips and shudders.
— Aye, well what aboot their language? ah sais tae her.
The guys are looking embarrassed, really shit up by the crowd that’s developed. It’s sortay like, feeding off itself. Crazy! Then this foreman, playin at being fuckin Rambo, comes along.
— Can’t you control these animals? one ay the Aussie women sais. — Haven’t they got any work to do instead of harassing people?
— Back inside yous! the foreman snaps, gesturing the guys away. We sortay let oot a cheer. It wis brilliant. Crazy!
Me n Ali went back over the road tae the Cafe Rio wi the Aussies and the two wifies came along as well. The ‘Aussies’ actually turned out tae be New Zealand lassies, who were lesbians, but that’s got fuck all tae dae wi anything. They were jist travelling around the world together. That’s too mad! Ah’d love tae gie that a go. Me n Ali; that would be crazy. Imagine coming tae Scotland in November, but. That is too fundamentally mad. We all just blethered for ages about everything in sight, and even Ali didnae seem so screwed up aboot things.
Eftir a bit we decided tae go back tae ma place for a smoke ay hash and some more tea. We tried tae get the wifies tae come, but they had tae go hame and get their men’s teas on, despite us telling them to let the bastards get their ain food.
One was really tempted: — Ah wish ah wis your age again hen, ah’d dae it aw different, ah kin tell ye.
Ah’m feelin brilliant, really likes, free. We all are. Magic! Ali, Veronica and Jane (the New Zealanders) and masel got really stoned back at ma place. We slagged off men, agreeing that they are stupid, inadequate and inferior creatures. Ah’ve never felt so close tae other women before, and I really did wish I was gay. Sometimes I think that all men are good for is the odd shag. Other than that, they can be a real fuckin pain. Mibbe that’s crazy, but it’s true when you think aboot it. Our problem is, we don’t think aboot it that often and jist accept the bullshit these pricks dish oot tae us.
The door goes, and it’s Mark. Ah cannae help smirkin in his face. He comes in looking completely bewildered as we fall aboot laughing at him, stoned oota oor boxes. Mibbe it’s the dope, but he just looks so strange; men just look so strange, these funny, flat bodies and weird heads. It’s like Jane said, they’re freaky looking things that cairry their reproductive organs