Undisputed_ How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps - Chris Jericho [37]
Pink looked at me, more confused than angry at this point.
“I dig ‘Would I Lie to You.’ But the rest of your stuff is lame.”
“Why is your name Pink if you have blonde hair? Shouldn’t you be called Blonde?”
That pissed her off. “Who are you? You think you’re some kind of singer?”
“Look who’s talking.”
She thought I was a total asshole, and she wasn’t the only one. I had been on the show before as Jericho and the show’s staff was wondering what the hell was wrong with me. To be honest, I don’t know the answer either. But I was determined to play this character even though I was dragging my good name through the mud. But what was I accomplishing? Not only was I confusing people, but by acting like a dick, I was driving them away from the band as well.
When I showed up for my next interview on The Mike Bullard Show, I was surprised to see the other guest was none other than Pinkie Lennox herself. I sat in the green room in total silence, as she stared daggers out of her eyes, making it a very tense situation. So what? I was still a rock star.
This appearance was different from the others, because the host, Mike Bullard, decided to play along with the gag.
“I remember seeing Fozzy at Massey Hall in 1982. What a great show! I’m so excited to have you on here tonight!”
There was a smattering of applause as the audience tried to figure out why Chris Jericho was onstage dressed in a leopardskin vest and giant aviator shades, pretending not to be Chris Jericho. The gag was already wearing thin, evidenced by the sales figures for the first week of Fozzy ’s release. They were lower than Hornswoggle’s ballbag.
After Jonny had given us whiplash with his delusions of Metallica grandeur, I was expecting to sell 50,000 copies on the first day. But we didn’t even chart in the Billboard Top 200.
The problem was that Megaforce was banking on the idea that wrestling fans would flock to Fozzy and buy the CD in droves. I mean, can you blame them? At the time, there were eight million people watching WWE programming every week, and I’ll bet that leopardskin vest they figured that even if only 1 percent of those fans bought the record, we’d sell 80,000 copies in a week.
Unfortunately, only.0005 percent of those fans bought the record, and we sold 4,225.
It was a valuable lesson for everybody involved to learn that there’s no guarantee that wrestling fans will buy something just because a wrestler is involved.
After the first week’s sales figures came in, we could see the difference in Megaforce’s attitude almost immediately. Instead of treating us like the next Metallica, they were treating us like the next Odin. Plans for the release of the Fozzy documentary on DVD were canceled, as were plans for release of the record in Europe. Talks of endorsements and appearances on The Tonight Show, Rockline, and Saturday Night Live (where we had the idea of using a choir of guest guitar players like Zakk Wylde, Slash, and Eddie Van Halen to back us ) were all kiboshed.
The gravy train had run off the rails and we were nothing more than a cover band again.
Allllll aboard … hahahahaha.
CHAPTER 10
Vince Loves Apes
WrestleMania X8 was looming and it was decided that I would work with my old friend from WCW, William Regal. Regal was a good worker and a tremendous character actor. He had one of best personas in the company and knew how to garner serious heat no matter what position he was in. Because his character was such a snob, it was easy to make him the butt of a joke, which is why our angle began with me going tee-tee in his tea-tea.
Yeah, you read that right. I pissed in his Earl Grey.
Allow me to explain. Regal was the evil commissioner and was deriving great pleasure from screwing with me. One night in Madison Square Garden, he put me into a handicap match against him and his Japanese minion Tajiri, daring me to find a partner of my own.
“Who would ever want to partner with you?” he said condescendingly. “The Phantom of the Opera?