Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [193]
The Williams Family (African American boy/middle-class) A few months after I had interviewed Alexander, I stopped by the Williamses’ house to drop off a copy of the book. It was a Saturday afternoon. Mr. Williams was in the yard, raking leaves. He seemed pleased to hold the book in his hand and to see that (after many years) the project had come to fruition. I told him that I wanted to interview him. He seemed open to it. Smiling, he said that the previous spring would have been a better time for the interview, since his wife was traveling frequently. I e-mailed Ms. Williams to set up an interview, but there was never a good time. (Once, I happened to call just as a pipe was bursting and water was flooding the first floor of their home.) I sent an e-mail every three months or so for almost two years. Ms. Williams would say that she was busy or not available then, but that she would give me a call.
By December 2005, I was thinking of making one final attempt to schedule interviews with Mr. and Ms. Williams. I e-mailed Ms. Williams to ask if there would be time to set up an interview. She wrote to say that the family did not wish to have any further involvement with the project. The note indicated that they felt that objectivity had been “lost” in the “subjective details,” with the result that none of them had been portrayed in an “honest manner.” They felt that the “training” and “maturity” of the researchers was inadequate and not up to professional standards. Ms. Williams asked me not to contact them and, especially, not to contact Alexander in the future; she reported that Alexander also had grave concerns about the portrait. She acknowledged that the family’s decision likely would be “troubling” to me but asked that I honor their request.
I e-mailed Ms. Williams (with the subject line “confirmation that I will honor your request”) and indicated that I would certainly honor their request, including no longer sending a holiday card and small gift to Alexander. I also apologized for any difficulty the book had caused them. She replied immediately with a brief note wishing me a wonderful holiday season.18
The Marshall Family (African American girl/middle-class) As with many of the families, I postponed the task of delivering the book to the Marshalls because I was extremely anxious about how they might react to it. I had interviewed all four family members in the summer, but it was November—and the book had been published in September—before I dropped by the Marshall home. I came in the evening, without calling ahead, bringing along a copy of the book. Ms. Marshall answered the door. As we stood, just inside, near the door, she told me in a friendly tone that she had found the book at Barnes and Noble and had already read it. (She had not wanted to wait.) I told her that I was sorry it had taken me so long to get it to her. I asked her what she thought. Shifting from foot to foot and looking somewhat sheepish and embarrassed, she said, “I thought, ‘Is that really me?’ And then I thought, ‘Yes.’” She did not have any complaints. We then went upstairs to see Mr. Marshall, who was recuperating from a leg injury. I told them that some of the families were distressed by the book. Always a jovial and expansive man, Mr. Marshall could not see why that would happen since, in his view, “It complimented everyone!” Somewhat later Stacey wrote me an e-mail. She told me that she had read the description of her family and that it made her “appreciate” how