Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [195]
Wendy’s mother and stepfather, in different ways, also expressed anger and disappointment with the way they had been represented in the book. Ms. Driver denied that she felt obligated to take her children to the emergency room lest they be turned in to protective services. Wendy’s stepfather was livid over the family portrait, in part because he perceived his wife and stepdaughter as having been injured by the book. Similarly, in her conversation with me, Ms. Driver focused more on how worried she was over Wendy’s reaction to the book and less on her own feelings.
The Taylor Family (African American boy/working-class) As I did with all of the families, when I called Ms. Taylor to schedule an interview, I said that I wanted to “come for a visit” to see how things were going. I added that I wanted to do a follow-up interview, for which she would receive an honorarium. Researchers are required to create complex paper trails (e.g., interview consent forms, receipts for honorariums), but interviewees typically have only their recollections of events. As I did with all of the families, I subsequently sent Ms. Taylor a summary of her reaction to the book. She objected to what I had written, particularly (as she alludes to below) to a statement that she had found the visits to be “fun.” Per her request, I have withdrawn my summary of her reaction to the book. With her permission, I have substituted her email message to me (edited slightly for length and punctuation). She summarizes the position expressed by many of the families: her family was misused.
Hello Annette,
Unfortunately, I do not wish to have anything that I’ve said [about my reaction to the book] printed. . . . In fact, you did not come to visit, but instead you came to further observe me and my family for your own gain, and you did it under false pretense by calling it a visit and, once inside and settled, pulling out your tape recorder.
Your observation is just that, your own, and when you put it in print it becomes factual to others who may read it, and that is unfortunate.
I did not allow you to come into my home and judge my family because I thought it would be fun. I did it because I somehow believed, as a very young mother separated from her husband and scared to death of what in the world would become of my children’s future, that you may somehow have been able to help us.
You, on the other hand, were only in this for your own reward. So, if you want to print something, print what I really feel and print it in my writing and from my perspective.
By the way, here’s another suggestion for the researchers of the future: If you want to complete research on families from different backgrounds, cultures, races, and educational levels, do it with fairness to all and include people from those backgrounds to help understand just what is going on, because if you have never been there, you can’t begin to understand what is there.
Regards,
Celeste R. Taylor
The Yanelli Family (white boy/working-class) The reaction of the Yanelli family developed over time. At first, the interaction among us was very difficult for everyone, as my notes show:
I had dropped by with the book to the Yanellis about ten days ago. I called and then went by tonight. They are very, very hurt. They feel as if the book portrays them as child abusers. Little Billy said that he thought that I “twisted” things and (looking down) said that he was “ashamed.” He said that he had been looking forward to showing people about the book but now he felt that he couldn’t show it to anyone. Big Billy looked angry. He preferred not to discuss it, but at one point when I was in the kitchen talking to Linda, [he] called out, “You slurred us, Annette; you made us look like poor white trash.”
Ms. Yanelli thought that the chapter [on them] was “the grand finale,” since it came last. She was particularly upset that they were the last chapter since she thought it made it worse. I talked with them, taped the mom’s feedback, and then hung out. It was tense but