Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [196]
In the interview, Ms. Yanelli said she felt that the book was highly critical of her and her family, that it “looked down” on them. She thought that the description of the Tallingers as having a “glass of wine” sounded “better” than that of Mr. Yanelli as “having a beer.” She also reported that she did not feel powerless with the school. She felt that she had fought the school and had shown determination and strength. In addition, Ms. Yanelli categorically denied that certain events had taken place. She said that she had never in her life purchased a lottery ticket, for example. Also, she felt that “the headline” (i.e., the chapter title, “Beating with a Belt, Fearing ‘the School’: Little Billy Yanelli”) stressed the child abuse issue.
In part, the Yanelli family’s reactions were related to their expectations. During a phone conversation, Ms. Yanelli told me, “I thought it was going to be like the book that Oprah had.”21 I was distressed each time I encountered a family that reacted negatively to the book, but the Yanellis’ wounded feelings were especially difficult because I felt particularly close to this family.22 Fortunately, a quirk of fate led to a shift in their views. Ms. Yanelli cleans the house of a sociologist whom I know slightly (we work at different universities). One day, he happened to be home while she was cleaning. She saw that he had Unequal Childhoods on his bookshelf. She told him that she was in the book and described how disappointed she and the rest of her family were with the book. Later, when I called the Yanellis (just to say hello and keep in touch), Ms. Yanelli told me that he had “explained” the book to her, saying that it was about things that were not right in society, with some people having more than others. She said that he had “made her” understand the book, and now she and her family were “fine with it.”23
Reaction of the Poor Families
The Brindle Family (white girl/poor) The Brindles’ lives were in a different and largely better place when I followed up with them than they had been during the initial study. In a phone conversation, Ms. Brindle said that the book “brought back” the earlier period. She said, “It made me laugh, it made me cry.” It made her feel as if they had moved along and things had gotten better. Ms. Brindle said, “There was one thing that did bother me. Why did you say that we were the most disturbed family in the book?” Stuttering and somewhat flustered, I said that at the time, Jenna had just been diagnosed as HIV-positive, they were being evicted, and things seemed generally difficult. Ms. Brindle did not reply. (Since we were on the telephone, I could not see her facial expression.) In her interview, Katie did not express criticisms of the book’s portrayal of her family. She seemed to have been most struck by the descriptions of her interest in performing plays and her dramatic side. Referring to them, she told me that she thought that she could have been an actress and that she wished that had happened. Overall, the Brindles did not seem to be troubled by the book. This surprised me a great deal. As I have noted, with each family, the possibility of a negative reaction worried me. The Brindles were of special concern because their life situation had been so difficult during the study period. I did not want them to think that I was judging them. The considerable distance that they had traveled in terms of economic security seemed to contribute to their positive assessment of the book. They saw their lives as now being in a different place.
The McAllister Family (African American boy/poor) The housing project where the McAllister family had lived when we first met was torn down, and I lost touch with them for a number of years. After several failed attempts to track them down, I tried searching on the internet for the name of Harold’s father. I found an address and phone number for a person with that name and ended up speaking with Harold’s older brother. He gave me Ms. McAllister’s number. I called and spoke with her, and then I went