Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [28]
She often is stylishly dressed, as [she is] one afternoon returning from work in a black-and-white herringbone light wool skirt, which falls mid-knee, and fuchsia wool cropped jacket. She wears white hose and black two-inch heels.
Mr. Tallinger is a tall (just over six feet), broad-shouldered man with thinning reddish-blond hair who favors expensive suits for work and golf shirts and long khaki shorts on weekends. He likes to make dry, witty comments, delivered with a slightly ironic twist. For example, when asked, “How are you?” he often responds, with only the slightest hint of a smile, “Peachy-keen.”
Both Tallingers hold bachelor’s degrees from the same Ivy League college, where both were involved in sports. Each is a consultant (Mr. Tallinger works in fund-raising, Ms. Tallinger in personnel). They earn a combined annual income of $175,000; until near the end of the study, both worked for the same firm. The Tallingers have sufficiently flexible hours to take time off for their children’s school events, but they often work on evenings and weekends. At the time of the study, both also were required to travel. Mr. Tallinger spends an average of three days on the road per week and often does not arrive home from work until 9:30 P.M. Ms. Tallinger tries to avoid overnights. As a result, four or five days a month she gets up very early (4:30 A.M.) and takes a plane out of state, returning home after dinner. Their child-care arrangements include an all-day program about five minutes from home for the youngest boy and an after-school program for the two older boys.
The Tallingers’ three sons range in age from ten (Garrett) to seven (Spencer) to four (Sam). Sam is a blond-haired, sturdy-looking preschooler. His laugh is a high-pitched giggle. Spencer, a second-grader, is outgoing and talkative. Fourth-grader Garrett, a tall, thin, serious boy with blond hair, is the “target child” of the study. Here’s how Mr. Tallinger describes his oldest son:
He’s shy and quiet, not very outgoing when you first meet him. But he’s got a fierce desire to please, so he’s very compliant. But he is also still very competitive. He likes to win, but he’s still easy to manage.
Unlike Spencer, who keeps up an almost nonstop stream of conversation, Garrett is a selective speaker. He will toss a ball around silently or watch television without commenting on commercials or programs. Sometimes, though, especially when he is away from his parents, he is livelier. He makes up little diversionary games. For example, one night around 8:00 P.M., while waiting in line at Taco Bell after a baseball game, Garrett makes faces at himself in the mirror. He also holds his breath several times, for as long as possible. His face turns bright red, but no one in the family comments.
Observations and interviews show Garrett to be both a good student and a good athlete. During a parent-teacher conference, Garrett’s teacher described him as “right where he should be.” In interpersonal interactions, he seems poised and sophisticated. When meeting an adult, he shakes hands, looks the person in the eye, and generally seems at ease. As an athlete, he is proficient, as this field note, taken during soccer practice with the elite Intercounty team, reveals:
The young boys are now divided into two teams and they begin to scrimmage. Garrett is a stickler at his defensive position and does not let anyone pass him. His playing style is coolly aggressive. He doesn’t seem to menace and overpower the other players, but instead projects an image of top control.
Garrett, like his parents, enjoys sports. His bedroom dresser is jammed with trophies, especially from soccer. He also has many soccer patches from team exchanges. At school, Garrett is popular and is widely seen as the best athlete in his class. During recess, he and other boys (with the rare girl)