Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [49]
Tyrec picks up a stick, threatens to throw it. The boy laughs, races around until Tyrec does throw it in his direction. Anisha takes a break from talking to another girl to say, “Tyrec! Don’t throw that!” Tyrec ignores her. The little boy picks up the thrown stick and comes after Tyrec. They run in ever widening circles.
Anisha now calls out to Tyrec to tell their mama that she is down the street with her friend. Tyrec hears her, but he doesn’t answer.
An older boy, twelve, sitting on a neighbor’s car, jokes with the little boy: “If you throw that stick again, I’m going to throw you over that fence” (gesturing). The little boy spits on Tyrec, who chases him, a little angered (he scowls, no laughing here) by this, until he catches up with him.
They have run down the street, so they are now near Anisha and her girlfriend, who have made it to the end of the block.
Tyrec spits hugely on the boy—the boy’s shirt I later notice has a big blue stain from Tyrec’s ice-pop mouth. Anisha notices this and turns around to yell at Tyrec, who has run away from the boy to the opposite end of the block. She says, in between his arguments with her, “Tyrec! Why you spittin’? That’s disgusting! I’m going to tell mama when she gets home, you hear?”
As these examples make clear, unlike middle-class children, who tend to play only with children exactly their own age (organized activities are usually age-specific), Tyrec frequently plays with children of various ages. He is also comfortable joining older groups:
Tyrec disappeared around the corner . . . I walked to the corner and took a peek around. There were about nine people sitting on the steps and on a bench which was on the [sidewalk] pavement. Three of them appeared to be teenagers or [even] older.
Overall, daily life for working-class and poor children is slower paced, less pressured, and less structured than for their middle- and upper-middle-class counterparts. Because adults spend less time monitoring children’s activities, there is less emphasis on performance and more latitude for children to pursue their own choices. Children have a separate world from adults. Of course, there are limits to Tyrec and his friends’ autonomy. Parents impose rules to safeguard their children; and the timing of some events, such as errand running and meal times, is determined by adults. Visits to relatives also tend to be set by parents. As with most working-class and poor children, for Tyrec, contacts with kin—from large, extended family events on weekends to informal drop-ins on weekdays—are part of the fabric of daily life. His great-grandmother, several aunts, cousins, and both grandmothers live close by (three of his cousins live “around the corner, in the next block”). Two other cousins his age frequently stay overnight at Tyrec’s house. He often helps his great-grandmother with household chores on the weekend; when she needs him, Tyrec is required to assist his great-grandmother before he begins playing with his friends.
The daily lives of working-class and poor children are not, of course, idyllic. The children we observed were aware of their families’ often precarious financial position and of the constraints that lack of money imposes. They heard and repeated among themselves talk about the cost of things, the lack of money, and the need for more money.
SIBLINGS: SOMEONE TO COUNT ON
Tyrec’s sister and to a lesser extent his older brother are an important part of his life. Although Anisha can be bossy at times, she and Tyrec are close companions. They help each other out, providing mutual support when, for example, their mother is in a bad mood. They spend time together both inside the house and outside. They often watch television together or play video games together. Sometimes they laugh out loud as they sit together in the living room watching television. Other times, they squabble:
Tyrec settles on the floor . . . [to] continue to watch “Cosby.” Anisha comes back right at the end of the show, plunking down on the couch on the other end from me. Anisha says,