Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [50]
Despite Anisha’s frequent chastisements of Tyrec, their relationship is far more cordial than the acrimonious sibling relationships we observed in middle-class homes, both Black and white.
I HAD A DREAM: TRYING OUT FORMAL PLAY
Middle-class mothers often take the lead in proposing activities for their children. In working-class and poor families, enrollment in an organized activity is not likely to occur unless children specifically request it. In Tyrec’s case, a passion for football led him to beg his mother to allow him to sign up for a team. She denied his repeated requests during third grade, citing many factors, including Mr. Taylor’s concern about the boy’s safety. As she listened to Tyrec’s pleas one evening during the summer before fourth grade began, however, Ms. Taylor was impressed by the vividness of her son’s longing:
He wanted to play last year, but we wouldn’t let him. We thought he was too young and he was very upset . . . And then I think he went to one of the practices with someone around here, one of his friends, and he wanted to sign up. He told me that he wanted to play football, and I said, “No, I don’t think so.” He said he wants to play so bad that he dreams about it. He saw himself running across the football field with a football in his hand.
She relented.
Soon, though, Tyrec began having second thoughts. Attending football practice meant that he had to cut short after-school playtime with his neighborhood friends. Faced with these competing demands, it was the organized activity that he wanted to drop:
After he started, after maybe the third time, he wanted to quit . . . He was having the problem of not being able to play with his friends because he had to leave them to go to practice. And I just didn’t let him—because he worked me over so good to get him signed up that I refused to let him not continue now. [Despite] all the frustration that went along with going, still, it was something that he started, so we were going to go ahead and get through it, and pray that we don’t have to do it again.
As a single parent who worked full time and didn’t get home until 6 P.M., Ms. Taylor found it difficult to meet the array of demands presented by Tyrec’s involvement in football. She rearranged mealtimes, and she spent time getting him ready, time transporting him, and time watching him play:
He had football practice four nights a week in the beginning because school hadn’t started back yet. It started in August . . . I would start calling [home] maybe at 4:00 from work. [I’d tell him] “Get your things together.” [But] he was never ready . . . So I would come home and grab him and hurry up and find something to eat. [Sometimes] in the summer . . . we could eat afterwards.
Tyrec’s mother also spent time fund-raising. She took a leadership role in selling cheesecakes, at ten dollars apiece, to co-workers, relatives, and neighbors. She sold more than twenty.
Although the pace of practices slowed in early September, football was still a demanding commitment. Games were on Saturday mornings at 8:30 or 9:00 A.M. Tyrec and his mother needed to get up at 7:00 in order to get to there on time. Often they would go out to eat after the game and would not get home until 3:00 or even 5:00 P.M. Frequent changes in the schedule, with practices ending early, games being shifted around, and other last minute changes further drained Ms. Taylor’s energy. Before the season was even halfway