Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [57]
The lack of economic resources makes almost every aspect of daily life for the Brindles more complicated and stressful than it is for middle-class (or even working-class) families. Putting together a meal can be a challenge. Food stamps are issued every fourteen or nineteen days. The family often runs out of food before it is time to go pick up the next batch of stamps. Getting the stamps is an ordeal, requiring a long bus ride and an even longer wait at the disbursement office. The buses are slow and often late. In the summer, Ms. Brindle walks; it takes her about an hour. She tries to avoid having to bring Melmel on these trips, but he does accompany her on most of her other outings. She carries him to the bus stop and holds him on her lap during the long bus rides.
ROUTINE LABOR AT HOME: CARING FOR CHILDREN
In all of the families we visited, regardless of social class, parents were caregivers. It was parents, not children, who were responsible for making sure there was food in the house, that children were bathed, that they had clean clothes to wear, got dressed in clothes that matched, and went to bed in time to get enough sleep. Parents watched over their children when they were sick, signed them up for school and other activities, and took them to the dentist and the doctor. These routines, present in all families, were taxing for adults, even in middle-class families. Children, while often charming, can be difficult, too. Parents in all social classes struggled with children who dawdled, lost things, rejected food as unacceptable, did not do as they were asked, and, at times, resisted, subverted, and tested the limits of their parents’ control.
In the Brindle family, all caregiving falls to Katie’s mom. Ms. Brindle is an unusually well-organized person. She believes that papers, toys, clothing, and so on, should be put away neatly in their assigned places. Complete outfits hang on the hangers in Katie’s closet. For example, on one hanger, sweatpants, a matching T-shirt, and sweater are grouped together. On other hangers there are similar arrangements of clothing. With each load of laundry, Ms. Brindle regroups and changes the outfits. She also prefers that Katie not leave things to the last moment, especially homework. She thinks it should be done soon after her daughter gets home from school. Katie sometimes resists, “forgetting” to do her schoolwork. Any work that has not been completed before bedtime must be done in the morning, before school, in the living room or dining room as there is no desk in her bedroom. As the field notes below show, this means less sleep and more work for both mother and daughter:
(Katie and CiCi are up before 7 A.M. Mom makes some hot chocolate for Katie.) Katie is on the love seat, sitting lengthwise . . . She is in her pink nightgown and her hair is disheveled. Her blue notebook is in her lap and she is looking at a list of words. Her pencil is in her mouth.
The homework is evidently to make contractions out of a list of spelling words and then to put them in alphabetical order. There are sixteen words . . . Around 7:10, Katie announces, “I’ve done ten and I have only six more on the list.” Her Mom says, “That’s a lot.”
When Katie gets stuck on a problem, she turns to her mother for help. Unlike in middle-class homes, where parents typically help in stages, offering a series of prompts designed to get their children to figure out the correct answer, Katie’s mother issues a straightforward directive. She tells Katie the specific numbers required to match the words she is having trouble with:
Katie . . . hands her mother the list and asks, “What do I do now?” Katie sits with one leg up and underneath her nightgown; the other leg is dangling over the edge of the couch . . . [CiCi] looks at the list and looks puzzled . . .