Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [81]
The ability to marshal evidence to support a position is an important part of the repertoire of skills middle-class parents teach their children. As the son of a lawyer, Alexander is expected, particularly in conversations with his father, to supply evidence for his opinions, even on trivial matters, as during this ride home after church:
Alex and Terry were deeply engaged in a discussion about which of the X-Men (hulking, green-faced comic book characters) was the most powerful. Terry urged Alex to defend his position as he suggested one X-Man was more powerful than the other. Terry often asked, “What do you mean? What episode did that happen in? Where did you read that at?” The importance of structuring an argument and referring to written material is stressed. Alex [takes out and reads from] his Secrets of the Marvel X-Men book to prove to his Dad that Wolverine’s claws were the only part of his body made of a “titanium alloy.”
As he reads aloud from the book, Alexander’s parents listen. Like conscientious classroom teachers, they note and comment on an error in pronunciation:
Christina said, “Go to the beginning and read it over again. I think you mispronounced a word.” Alex reread it and again mispronounced the word. Christina: “That word is pronounced lead [as in leader].” Terry: “That is a trick word. You have to look at the context to see how the word is pronounced.”
On another occasion, one in which the stakes again are very low, Mr. Williams nevertheless pushes Alex to defend his opinions. Noting an inconsistency in his son’s stated preferences among types of cars, Mr. Williams wants Alex to supply an explanation for the change:
Terry: “That’s not what you said before. Last time, you said the Miata, the Mercedes, and the Bugatti. Which one is it?”17 Alex (his voice rising): “I didn’t say that. Those three have always been my favorites.” Christina (soothingly): “Don’t worry about it, baby. You can change your mind if you want to. It is your prerogative.” . . . Alex, glancing at his Dad, says jovially, “This is America. It’s my prerogative to change my mind if I want to.”
The sort of verbal jousting between middle-class children and adults recorded in this field note is not unusual. Alexander and other children of his age and class we observed seem similarly comfortable offering information and advice to adults. For instance, a field-worker reported an incident in which Alex coaxed her to try roller-blading: “If you can ice skate, you can roller-blade,” Alex confidently assured this adult. And, again like other middle-class children, Alex sometimes gives his parents orders, albeit playfully. Mr. Williams recounted one such episode on an evening when he, Ms. Williams, and a field-worker were attending a school performance. After watching a musical in which Alexander sang from beginning to end, Mr. Williams (who dismisses musicals as a “ridiculous” form of entertainment) remarks that it felt as if the seasons had changed while the play was being performed. Laughing, he tells the field-worker that during the previous night’s performance, he had attempted to “sneak out,” but Alexander happened to be in the hallway and redirected him. As the group is leaving the building, Mr. Williams points out the spot near a rear door where his son had caught him.
Mr. Williams (chuckling): This is where I came out when I was trying to sneak out and Alexander saw me and said (pointing), “Get back in there.”
Mr. Williams reports that he did indeed return to the auditorium for the remainder of the performance.
In this instance, Mr. Williams is clearly amused by his son’s actions. Sometimes, however, middle-class parents’ emphasis on language use and reasoning results in behavior that is less acceptable. For example, when parents do not comply with rules but instruct their children to do so, the children openly point out the inconsistency. When Ms. Williams, Alex, and a field-worker are doing errands one afternoon, they walk off the sidewalk onto the dirt as they enter the store from the parking lot. Returning to the car, Alexander