Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [93]
Harold has a paper plate with a hot dog and chips in his left hand and a canned drink of soda in his right. With his right hand, he is trying to open the soda. And all of a sudden, his hand slips and the soda jolts up and out of the can, [spilling] on his hand and the bench. His mother, who is just a few feet away, catches his eye. They both laugh together at his uncoordinated lurch with the soda. It is a friendly, warm laugh, a soft poking fun at him for his contorted move with his hand. His mom then takes the stuff to the grill, and Harold shakes the soda off his hand.
Everyone in the McAllister household appreciates a good joke and Ms. McAllister, especially, seems alert to the potential for humor in any situation. Nevertheless, the boundaries between adults and children are clearly delineated and carefully maintained. A premium is placed on being respectful toward one’s elders. Children automatically refer to adults, especially women, using respectful terms such as Miss Latifa or Miss Jane. In addition, Ms. McAllister does not allow the children to curse.14
TALKING THE TALK: LANGUAGE USE AMONG PEERS
Unlike the directive-laden interactions that occur between poor (and working-class) adults and children, language use among peers tends to be free flowing. In many situations when children are off by themselves, they banter back and forth; boys, especially, enjoy boasting to one another. On the basketball court, Harold sheds his quiet demeanor. His whole persona—including his language—seems transformed. A talented player, Harold is both surprisingly quick (given his stocky build) and surprisingly aggressive (given his at-home behavior).
Harold called a “double” (double dribble) on Jarrad. Jarrad protests as he throws Harold the ball. (If you make the call, you get the ball.) Jarrad (angrily): “Man, I didn’t double—nigga, you blind as shit!” Harold stops bouncing the ball and walks over to Jarrad. Harold (shouting): “You did, man. Just like this.” (Harold starts to dribble the ball; he spins, then fakes, then he does an exaggerated double dribble.) “I seen you!” None of the other players were asked for their opinion, nor did they offer it. Harold keeps the ball and checks it back into play. (Usually if there was a dispute over a foul, the play would be played over. This was not the case. Harold took the ball.) A foul was called on Harold, “Walk.” (He committed fouls by walking his butt off.) Harold (protesting): “I walk? Nigga, you crazy. See if you get the ball a—I’m a do the play over. I ain’t gotta cheat.” Harold keeps the ball. No one protests.
Harold and his friends have more autonomy from adults than their middle-class counterparts. Adults often are not present, and when they are, they do not typically intervene in children’s interactions. This is clear, for instance, in the field-worker’s description of Harold and his (common-law) stepfather, Keith, shooting baskets together one afternoon:
Harold and Keith were very laid back. Neither was adamant about getting rebounds, nor were they particularly interested in displaying their dribbling skills. Harold was sinking a pretty good amount of shots. Keith was not as skilled.
As this casual shooting continues, about ten young men, varying in age from about seven to fifteen, join in.
Once the others arrive (they all seem to arrive at once), the pace of the game changes. It becomes more showboatish and competitive. Although there is not an actual game going on (one in which the score is kept), definite defensive and offensive strategies are executed. For instance, on numerous occasions Harold would tell one of his friends to “Come get some.” This functioned as a competitive invitation