Until the Dawn's Light_ A Novel - Aharon Appelfeld [17]
“Why are you hurting me, Papa?”
These, of course, were merely flashes. The clouds would surround him once more, and his face would darken or suddenly change and become awkwardly merry. Adolf’s opinion was uncompromising. “We have to bring him to the old age home in Himmelburg and give the institution no alternative. Don’t worry, they won’t dare contradict me.”
She tried to stop him. “Not yet,” she said.
“You’re too preoccupied with him,” he declared.
The next day they went. Her father didn’t object. A simple, awkward smile sat on his face, as though he knew that he would not escape from Adolf’s grasp. The train trip took about an hour, and they reached the old age home before lunch. The manager, not a young woman, explained to them that the place was full beyond capacity and that even the corridors were taken. Adolf was determined to leave her father there, no matter what.
The elderly manager listened and repeated her arguments. She showed him the corridor, crammed with beds. “There’s no room, good people,” she said, spreading her arms.
“If there are twenty beds, one can be added,” Adolf argued with force.
In the end, when she proved to him how wrong he was, Adolf didn’t restrain himself. He pounded on the table and said, “The Jews have to take him in. If they don’t take him in, this building will go up in flames. You can’t talk to Jews in any other language.”
The manager turned pale, asked for consideration, and finally raised her hands and said, “What can I do?”
Thus was Blanca’s father abandoned. He stood there, stunned. Then he hugged Blanca and said, “Go home, child. Everything is all right.” Blanca promised to bring him more clothing and his shaving kit.
“Don’t forget to bring the chess set.”
Adolf rushed Blanca out. Her father suddenly raised his right hand and called out loud, “Be well, children, and take care of yourselves.”
14
RIGHT AFTER THAT, Blanca sold the house and paid the debts, and there was some cash left over to give to her father. She was glad she managed to finish that matter. She left for Himmelburg on the morning train to tell her father about the sale. She found him sitting in bed, wearing striped pajamas. A strange merriness glowed in his eyes. Hearing her words, he said, “How is Mama? Do we have to bring her to a rest home again?”
“No.”
“Thank God.”
Then, with no transition, he asked her to bring him his mathematics books because he wanted to freshen his knowledge. About the place itself he said nothing.
It was her father, but he was not really himself. His cheeks were red, and a kind of childish astonishment lit up his face. The things that perturbed him at home still perturbed him here, but now he added, “No matter.”
“How is Grandma Carole?”
“She’s quite fine,” Blanca answered.
“She’s always fine,” her father said mischievously.
The director told her the absolute truth. He wasn’t living in reality, and he had to be treated like a child. The old age home couldn’t bear the expense of taking care of him.
Hearing her words, Blanca buried her face in her hands and burst into tears.
“What can I do?” she cried. “I have nothing of my own, and my husband won’t let me work outside of the house.”
The elderly director, seeing her youth and distress, exerted no more pressure on her.
“Don’t abandon your father,” she said. “Come to visit him often.”
“Of course I’ll come. I have no one else in the world beside him.”
The director also told Blanca that most of the residents were abandoned. The children had converted to Christianity and denied their old parents. The financial condition of the institution was precarious, and were it not for bequests from some of those who died, the place would have been closed long ago. Blanca promised to come and help, and the elderly director hugged her, saying, “You’re a loyal daughter, and the Jewish spark is not extinguished in your heart.”
“That’s my grip on this world, believe me,” Blanca said with emotion.
“There are so few of us, and we are worn so thin,” said the director, and it was clear that the burden