Up & Out - Ariella Papa [60]
He is acting normal. During our chopped salads, he tells me about the process they use to make the blueberry vodka that’s in the delicious lemonade I’m drinking, which leads to a discussion about basil-infused olive oil. I’m following him and realizing once again that whenever we talk I just kind of listen to what he says. I don’t need to participate in the conversation at all for it to happen.
Something in me just can’t ask. Our three-tier tray of seafood comes out, full of oysters and shrimp and crab. He smiles and takes an oyster, chewing carefully. I think it might only be the idea of him that I am into. I like being with someone who knows so much about everything, dresses well and has buffed fingernails. No, I have to get to the bottom of this. I can’t just be cheated on and accept it. I can get over an idea, can’t I?
“What’s up with you, Rebecca?” This is the perfect time.
“Nothing.” I am a coward. No, wait. I have to do this. I can’t.
“Are you thinking about work?” For the first time in a while, I’m not. Maybe I should be getting dumped all the time, to take my mind off work.
“No, I was just—” Do it. Oh, I have a better idea—a test. “I was just thinking about our first date.”
“You were?” I think he’s squirming. I kind of like it. “We didn’t come here. Did we?”
“No.” The fucker. “Don’t you remember?”
“Was it Jewel Bako?”
“You’ve never taken me to Jewel Bako.” Is that where he took Petra?
“Look, kids on a rope.” I turn to look over the little bushes that separate us from the street and there is a group of children walking by with their hands on a big white rope.
“Weird.” This would be the surrealistic breakup film.
“Must be some kind of rich kids’ day camp at night.”
“Must be.”
“Only in Manhattan.” I nod. I want to get back to the business at hand. But he changes the subject. “Try the crab leg.”
I try it and it’s good and fresh and perfect for a summer day. But I am not going to be distracted by food. Not this time.
“Esca,” I say. “Don’t you remember?”
“Oh, of course. Sorry, brain freeze. Of course I remember now.”
“Really.” I know, I know. I’m playing a stupid game, but for some reason I can’t help it. “So who did you go to Jewel Bako with?”
“Um, must have been a client.”
“Must have been.”
“Are you finished with this?” The waiter is back at our table.
“Yes,” I say.
“No,” Seamus says, and grabs the last shrimp. “Okay, now we are. So, do you want to go up to the Boat Basin for a drink?”
“I know about your other girlfriend.” There. I said it, and now he has to confirm or deny. I’m ready. I think.
“What?”
“Yeah, a girl I work with lives in your building. Imagine that.” He swallows and picks up his butter knife. He is trying to figure out what to say.
“Look, we never decided we were going to be exclusive.” I see the waiter come over with the dessert menu and then pause awkwardly when he hears what Seamus is saying. I’d say that’s good service.
“We didn’t. We’re sleeping together. I didn’t think we had to be specific.” Seamus sees the waiter.
“Do you want coffee?” Seamus asks.
“Not right now.” I am getting angry. “What does she think about this? Have you been up front with her about me?”
“Brianna is very progressive.”
“Brianna? I thought her name was Petra.” He looks like he’s been completely caught. “Who is Brianna? How many are there?”
He sighs and doesn’t say anything for a long time. I think he is calculating and trying to decide whether or not to cut his losses.
“Listen, Rebecca, this is New York. I know I’m a catch. There’s not a ton of single straight men out there who know how to treat a woman. It would be selfish of you to want to keep me for yourself.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I’m just being honest. We’re adults.”
“You weren’t honest from the beginning.”
“We never made any kind of commitment. It isn’t my fault that you had the wrong idea.” He looks me in the eye.
At this point I’m thoroughly