Vampire Mine - Kerrelyn Sparks [100]
Her face grew pale.
“I knew it was wrong, but I dinna care. I did it anyway.”
“You were distraught,” she whispered.
“That is no excuse!” He gritted his teeth. “I killed them all, and I found great satisfaction in it.”
“You—you don’t mean that.”
“Aye, I do! There were women and children screaming in terror, begging me to stop, but I kept going till every man in the village was dead.”
Tears glimmered in Marielle’s eyes. “You were in terrible pain.”
“Love can do terrible things.” He rubbed his brow. “My wife died because she loved me. Then I took her love and the innocent love of a wee babe and twisted it into an ugly rampage for revenge. I doomed my soul.”
A tear ran down Marielle’s cheek. “I’m so sorry for all the pain you’ve endured—”
“What about the pain my wife and child endured? What about the widows and orphans I left behind? After a few nights, I realized the true impact of my crime. Women and children slowly starving to death because of me. I would go hunting every night and bring them a deer or a handful of rabbits. And they screamed in terror whenever I came. Eventually, they all left, running away from the nightmare I had foisted upon them.”
He sighed. “The village disappeared. There’s nothing there now but empty fields. And the grave where I laid my wife and daughter.”
“I am truly sorry,” she whispered. “For everyone.”
He tilted his head back and gazed at the stars. His heart felt lighter just for sharing the secret of his crime, but his punishment was about to begin. Any minute now, she would rebuke him for being a cruel and vicious monster.
She was silent.
He glanced at her and saw that her eyes were shut. Tears glistened on her cheeks, and her mouth moved silently as if in prayer.
He took a deep breath, preparing himself for rejection. He’d known all along he wasn’t worthy of her. It didn’t stop him from loving her, though. And it wouldn’t stop him from keeping his pledge.
Her eyes opened, and she regarded him sadly.
His heart squeezed. For the first time, he could see her age in her eyes. Millennia of pain, joy, and wisdom.
“I want to be clear on this,” she said softly. “I never want to hear you say again that your soul is doomed. Do you think you are God that you can make such a judgment?”
He blinked. “But I am doomed. Even the demon said I was on his list.”
“A demon will say everyone is on his list. But he is not God, either. The decision is not his.”
Connor swallowed hard. “Ye’re no’ . . . appalled by what I did?”
“I am constantly appalled by what humans do. And constantly amazed.” She sighed. “Why should I point out the seriousness of your transgression when you already know it? You have great remorse for what you did. You should ask our Heavenly Father to forgive you. And then begin your life anew.”
“I doona deserve it.”
She smiled. “You can feel that way, but He still loves you. I love you, Connor Buchanan. I will always love you.”
His heart stuttered. “Ye—ye canna mean that.”
She made a face. “Oh, you’re right. I changed my mind. I hate your guts now.”
“What?”
She swatted his shoulder. “When I say I love you, you should accept it. If you don’t, then you’re calling me a liar.”
“Nay, I—” Tears stung his eyes. “Ye still love me?”
She gave him an impatient look. “Only a man with a good and noble heart would punish himself for centuries. Your wife and daughter would not be pleased to see you wallowing in misery.”
“I’m no’ wallowing,” he grumbled. “I fought a battle earlier tonight.”
“You’ve kept a black pit of suffering in you for so long, you have trouble accepting love when it falls in your lap. It’s time to stop the suffering. You have a woman here who loves you.” She crossed her arms with a huff. “And I’m getting really tired of waiting for my blow job.”
He laughed.
She gave him one of her radiant smiles. “That’s more like it. You have centuries ahead of you, Connor Buchanan. They should be filled with love and laughter.”
He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her hair, his tears mingling with her damp hair. “Ye are the light in my darkness.