Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [17]
Make your friend your sitter, but if that’s not possible, make your sitter your friend.
Your child should be included in the decision of bringing a man into your family.
Make sure to date only men who want to have children and are fans of them.
Even if your ex is the worst man in the world, you have to respect him enough to make him aware that another man is coming into your world, thus having the ability to affect his child.
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Chapter Seven
Getting Older
Okay, don’t panic but…you’re not so young anymore. And if you are, you won’t be for long. That’s right, honey, you’re getting older by the minute, and for those of us who have already been introduced to a hint of crow’s-feet and impending varicose veins, this is not a new revelation. Growing older is a fact of life, but it doesn’t have to be an agonizing and annoying one. For every woman out there who fears the aging process, there’s another who’s not anxious at all, one who’s actually excited about it! Why would anyone be excited about getting on in years? Because there’s so much to look forward to! There is a special glow about a woman who wears the passage of time with honor and grace. She realizes that with age comes a considerable amount of wisdom, experience, clarity, and overall advancement—if you do it right.
But what happens if you’re getting up in age and, with each passing birthday, you’re also getting more and more single? You’ve got a string of failed relationships in your wake, each disappointment making you feel as if your chances at happiness are growing further and further out of reach. After a while, you begin to buy into the rhetoric that all the good men are married or dead and the rest are gay, bisexual, in prison, or are lying, cheating dogs. Most of your friends seem to be coupled off, but there you are, all alone. Even worse, you’re starting to feel as if you’re destined to die that way. At least, that’s how you feel on your worst days. Another birthday passes, pushing your dream of a family and a husband even further away. And now you hear the ticking of that dreaded biological clock. Panic sets in, waking you with the cold slap of reality first thing every morning. Nudging you in the back throughout the day every time you see a happy couple pass by or a woman cradling a gurgling baby. Cozying up to you with its blood-chilling dread at night as you lay in your sumptuous, sprawling bed—a bed more than big enough for two—faced with the stark reality that it just may remain this empty forever. And then it happens: you officially become the clichéd “Desperate Broad.”
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Vixen Say What?
Stop being a pussycat. They don’t call you a cougar for nothing!
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Ladies, please. No matter what, don’t let it come to this. Desperate women make desperate moves, many of them resulting in some duplicitous man, one who can smell your desperation from miles away, suddenly appearing in your life and—voila!—saving the day. Trust me, a guy like this won’t save you or your day. If anything, he’s probably going to ride off with your life savings, your dignity, and everything else you make readily available to him because you were so terrified of growing old alone. He may destroy your self-esteem, already fragile from you convincing yourself that you were destined to be alone had he not come along. These kinds of men know how to seize upon this kind of vulnerability, beating you down emotionally and physically until you’re completely subject to their cruelty and whims. And once you’re completely broken, he may still abandon you. But wait! He might leave a little something behind for you, though. Perhaps it’ll be the child you’ve always wanted. Still, you’ll be hard-pressed to get a man like this to play an active role in your child’s life and you may find yourself chasing him down for child support. Because that’s what we get when we make desperate moves. Broke, conniving men, abusive losers, and absentee fathers. Your potential child deserves better. You deserve better!
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Vixen Tip
First of all, calm down.