Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [24]
Now, consider this scenario: what if the man of your dreams happens to be the guy who just moved in next door and, being a friendly neighbor, has decided to pop over and introduce himself? Upon hearing the doorbell, you shuffle to the door in your ratty pink bathrobe, holey bath slippers, and a hairnet. You trip over your fat, lazy, ever-shedding cat, damn near breaking your neck on the sweatpants you quickly kicked off when you got back from Cold Stone Creamery and heard the theme song from Sex and the City playing. You open the door and there he is: a Boris Kodjoe–meets–George Clooney–esque stunner. And there you are: Dirt McGirt. Ugh! Preparation: none. Opportunity: blown. See what I mean?
Now, I’m not just pulling this stuff out of my ass. I’ve actually applied this to my life and have seen it work every single time in every single scenario, eventually. Ever heard the phrase, “Fake it ‘til you make it?” Okay, well, it’s sort of like that. As I prepared to exit my twenties, after finding satisfaction in my career and a real sense of accomplishment as a mother and an overall human being, I wanted to share all this good news with a tall, dark, handsome, and sexually compatible man looking for a long-term commitment. I wanted it all, honey, so I decided to pretend as if I already had it.
This may sound a little nutty, but I swear by it. When I met new men, I told them I was married. Shit, I even called the men I’d been seeing and told them I got married! I made my home comfy for me but male-friendly as well, and I kept up all those girly beauty rituals that men find alluring. I went to bed early and woke early, preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I stayed on top of all my household chores and basically did everything I talk about in this chapter, things I thought a man would appreciate in his woman. I expected the love of my life to show up at any minute. I was calling out to him in my prayers and in every move I made, especially when it came to making sure my personal and business affairs were in order. I wanted my new man to have a complete person as his partner, an asset to his life, and a woman who could be all things to him. I wasn’t sure who he would be, but it just so happened he’d been right under my nose. But neither he nor I noticed, not until I began living my life with the intent on being prepared when the opportunity presented itself. Once things were in order in my world, clarity happened, and whammo!
Prepare thoroughly, ladies. Your preparation goes further than just your looks and the order of your home. It includes educational, financial, and emotional preparation, all of which are discussed in this book. No truly worthy man wants to be with a woman who can’t carry a conversation on various topics with both specific and general knowledge. This same man wouldn’t want to be viewed as a cash cow, there to meet your every financial whim. He would want you to have your own money, at least enough to support your current lifestyle. That doesn’t mean he’s a miser. It means he sees the way a woman handles her finances as a pointed insight into how she handles herself overall. He also doesn’t want a basket case, an emotional wreck of a woman carrying around so much baggage from past relationships and family issues that there’s no room for healthy emotional interaction with him, and the little space that is available is cluttered with drama.
Clean up your life, ladies. I mean that figuratively and literally. Take the time today to make the world that is You a place that not just your future man would be proud to inhabit, but one you would be proud to swing open the door and let anyone into. When you take the necessary steps and prepare for everything you’ve asked for, it not only uplifts everything around you, it means that