Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [37]
A strong position lends to an enormous amount of respect, which is most evident in the way we relate to men. In general, we as women find it difficult to respect a man with little or no position in life, a man who allows himself to be ruled by his mother even though he is an adult, or one who allows others to run his life personally and professionally. Whether he permits his boss to treat him condescendingly or gives in to his best buddy’s every boyish whim, women don’t appreciate a man who cannot run his own show and is not in control of his household. Men like this don’t radiate the kind of confidence we need from a protector and a provider. He would never, ever do.
If that is the case, and if we apply such strict judgment to men, why should women today be held to a different standard? What man would want the female version of this? When it comes to women, men are just as attracted to strength and position as we are to those traits in them.
Though they have so many other things to distract them, like our bodies and looks, once the initial attraction wears off and they’ve gotten past our physical presentation, men begin examining us for other, more substantial attributes, like intelligence, self-esteem, independence, and ambition. Of course, I am speaking generally here, referring to a best-case scenario. There are plenty of men who don’t care what you look like or where you’re going—or where they’re going, for that matter. Those are not the types of men you should be seeking, not if your goal is to be a woman to be reckoned with. You deserve a man who wants to see you rise to your highest potential, one who encourages you to thrive and does everything he can to support you, as you in turn support him. Keep in mind, ladies, that this requires a highly evolved man, one who is confident and secure enough in his own drive, ambition, and sense of self that your achievements and position aren’t a threat to his masculinity and control. If you find a man like this, treasure him, for he is indeed a jewel and an excellent candidate for a relationship.
Many of us know from experience, however, that there are plenty of insecure, immature, stupid little boys running around posing as men, who would happily prefer you to believe you’re much less than you’re worth. These kinds of men can’t handle a woman of position, and should you become involved with them, they will attempt to erode your esteem in every way possible in order to feel good about themselves. Vixen says stay away from them, for obvious reasons. These men want the opposite of everything I’ve suggested for you in the prior chapters, and everything I will suggest throughout this book. The right man will want a woman who has more substantial qualities, one who can hold her own in their relationship. As I’ve already noted regarding your principles, we teach our men how to treat us. Somewhere along the way, after women’s lib and the burning of bras, after fighting for the right to vote and for equal jobs and wages, someone convinced us that women are still following the lead of men. While there’s nothing wrong with looking at how successful men have historically approached gaining position, remember that you are the master of your fate. You don’t need a man to define your place in the world for you.
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Vixen Say What?
People treat you how they see you.
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Men are following our lead and have been doing so for centuries. Women are and have been the foundation of civilization since the dawn of mankind. We are the nurturers, the child bearers, the dynasty creators, and, in certain matriarchal societies, the rulers. Today’s woman can have a successful career and run a successful household, if that is what she chooses to do. While it is not unheard of, how often do you find that happening with men? Many of them look to be taken care of at the end of the workday. Our workday never truly ends, yet many women are able to manage this and never lose their stride. That’s because we’re made of tough stuff, ladies. You must realize that about