Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [41]
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Vixen Tip
Consider your home a corporation and you and your mate co-CEOs. A a partner in this company, you are entitled to just as much as your counterpart, given you brought just as much in from the ground floor, monetarily or otherwise.
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I believe it is important for women, single and coupled, to be included on the titles and deeds of all or some property. If possible, you should contribute monetarily to the household. I am aware, however, of the very important, very necessary, often overlooked role of the housewife, who may not feel it is in her best interest to work outside of the home, away from her children. In this case, especially, you are worthy of sharing the same financial gains and luxuries as your mate. Someone once told me, and I have never forgotten or gone long without repeating it: power is in ownership. Ownership happens on many different levels. Find the one that’s relative and right for you.
These principles are simple, but they require practice and awareness to develop. A woman who knows her worth is not afraid to speak up. A man will only do to you, and for you, what you have done to and for yourself. No one wants the responsibility of saving you. While there have been many relationships born of this romantic notion—the Prince Charming (sometimes Pretty Woman) theory, where the woman is rescued by a virile, heroic man—men soon tire of a woman who needs to be saved. That can be an enormous and exhausting investment on their parts, emotionally and financially. No one wants to be your all. That makes you a burden, a liability. You should want to be an asset to someone’s life as well as an asset to your own. When a woman doesn’t feel as if she is contributing to her own life and the lives of those around her, she may find herself depressed and envious of those who are doing well. She may become bogged down in a cycle of life that is far less than what she imagined for herself. Don’t let that woman be you. You want to know and express your worth. And it feels good to know that others are noticing.
In a generation where we have so many young women waiting for a man to save them and make them worthy, it is critical that we change our definition of worth. I found it particularly tough when I was younger, being part of a monetarily driven society where tangible things, expensive things, hold importance and relevance. There was a time in my life when I believed that if I could only find a man who possessed things I didn’t and I was well taken care of, then I would be happy, then I would be worthy. I could not have been more mistaken. The things a man has accomplished should never define what you possess or who you are. It is more attractive to a man when a woman is capable of taking care of herself, whether she needs to or not. What is even more attractive is the notion that if by some misfortune, the man of the house became unable to take care of his family, his woman could pick up the pieces and keep them in the same comfortable state his income has afforded.
A man once said to me, “If you can’t be my helpmate, then what good are you?” (You will see me reference this statement again later; it really made an impact on me!) That man ended up being one of the many men unworthy of me whom I have encountered in my life. What he said that day, however, has helped me define my role in my current marriage. That goes to show you, ladies—even a man who’s not good for us has the ability to prepare us for one who is, if we just pay attention!
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Recap
How a woman values herself becomes evident to anyone who talks to her for as little as five minutes.
Always be aware of how you represent yourself in the world.
Every woman is equipped to be the queen of all things, if that is what she so desires.
You are worthy from the moment you are conceived.
A woman who knows how to both follow and lead is more