Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [44]
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Recap
A man doesn’t want to bring home a princess only to find out later that she has turned into a toad.
It is both attractive and unmistakable when you are healthy inside and out.
Even in sweats and a T-shirt, you can be beautiful.
Natural beauty is always most appreciated.
No matter what size and shape you are, be confident knowing that you take good care of yourself.
How you look at home is just as important as your appearance in the workplace.
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Chapter Eighteen
Emotional Currency
We’ve all wrestled with our emotions at one time or another. We are emotional creatures by nature, designed to feel on a soul level and, therefore, be more compassionate and empathetic to our fellow man. It’s important, however, to be in control of your emotions and not let your emotions dictate you. Ladies, this is something you seriously need to understand, if you haven’t learned it by the time you’re reading this book. For centuries, women have taken refuge in the excuse that we are “the weaker sex,” thus more inclined to be led by our feelings. Many of us view that as license to lose our senses and rely solely on our emotional state, which is never healthy. In order to think more clearly in times of trouble or just during the course of an ordinary day, you should tap into and rely more upon your rational side.
It is extremely important that you remain emotionally fit. This is necessary for every aspect of your life, including the personal and the professional. This means learning to not harbor feelings for anyone who may have hurt you. You should not find yourself crying over years lost or become mired in blaming others for your own shortcomings and misjudgments. You are the master and commander of your own emotional destiny. You should realize that if someone has hurt you, it is because you somehow played a role in allowing them to.
I’m not talking about crimes against your person that involve you being a victim of circumstance, like rape, robbery, or physical battery. This is strictly in regard to relationships gone bad, friendships that have unraveled, strained familial bonds, disappointment at work, and similar issues. Many times, we fail to address why these things head south, leaving us distressed, sometimes devastated, instead of viewing others as having victimized us in some way. It takes real honesty to be willing to go inside ourselves and examine why we didn’t get the emotional return we expected, and be truthful about the role we may have played in creating the problem.
I know it can be hard. I’m not oblivious to the process of pain and reconstruction that takes place after a disappointing emotional blow. It can result in an extended period of sadness, desperation, self-pity, anger—too many emotions for any one person to logically handle. But once the appropriate healing has taken place, once all of these feelings have come and gone, it is imperative that you let go and move on with the goal of being better than before. But it’s not that easy, Vixen, you say. I know it’s not. Trust me, I do. It takes practice, practice, then more and more practice. You have to train your mind to let go of those runaway emotions and focus on the positive and the practical. There are always other things you could be doing instead of bemoaning the outcome of a particular situation. You could be planning your next steps in life. You could be reading a book. You could be working out or spending time with friends. There’s a reason for the saying, “An idle mind is the devil’s playground.” Life is so much bigger than whatever unchangeable thing it is you’re allowing yourself to focus on. The more you dwell upon negativity, the more of a tailspin you’ll find yourself