Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [50]
A man can smell a liability from miles away.
You must make your own way and focus upon your goals as early in life as possible.
What you represent in your relationships is exactly what you represent to the world around you.
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Chapter Twenty
Liability
You should never want to be a woman who has made herself a liability. A woman who is a liability cannot offer anything of substance to her man and their relationship. She has very little of value monetarily, emotionally, or intellectually and offers even less to those with whom she interacts. If supported by her spouse or mate, the amount of money and energy that it takes for her upkeep are considerably more than she contributes to their home and lives together. In most cases, this is a woman who doesn’t have goals that are substantial to herself or the relationship. Perhaps she has suppressed them, having mistakenly been taught that she should put the needs of others before her own. Whatever the case, her poor planning has left her with a tremendous deficit on multiple levels. A woman like this tends to have wavering principles, and her moral compass is easily manipulated. She’s often overly dependent upon her man and the generosity of others.
It’s mind-boggling to me how, especially in my generation, so many bright young women are still unable to pull their own weight. So many of us want to be taken care of, believing that’s the only way to live successful, fulfilling lives. The irony is that being taken care of can have the opposite effect. It requires the abandonment of certain freedoms, particularly the ability to speak one’s mind without some form of penalty and knowing that should something happen to your mate and he doesn’t leave you anything to fall back on, you have the wherewithal to fend for yourself. An educated, worldly man would find it nearly impossible to showcase a woman if she were unable to contribute to an intelligent conversation with his peers and colleagues. He would always be concerned that maybe she would say or do something to embarrass him and herself, thereby threatening his position in the world. Smart, successful men tend to be practical about how they choose a mate, often electing to go with one that will prove beneficial to him on every level. They make decisions of the mind, not just the heart, and no man in his right mind—not one who is upwardly mobile, anyway—would choose to be with a woman who might drag him down or potentially sabotage everything he’s working hard to accomplish.
Many women have no social lives of their own outside of their romantic relationship. Some of you either don’t have to work or don’t want to, yet find yourselves resentful and envious of your partner happily and aggressively pursuing his career and life purpose. You may feel threatened by his relationships outside of the home, afraid that these relationships might make him realize that he can do better than you. This can be a time bomb waiting to erupt within a relationship. Create a life, no matter how big or small, outside of the one you and your mate have built together. Whether it be volunteer work, a seasonal job, or your own career, you should have something of your own, something that makes you feel as though you’re living and moving in your purpose.
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Vixen Tip
Everyone has a talent. Use yours as either a hobby or for financial gain. That way, you’re doing something you love and are good at. If you can manage to do the majority of this from home, then you’ve hit the jackpot!
And find a network of people who enjoy the same things you do, either locally or on the Internet. You can even start your own network of friends who are interested in the same hobbies!
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Many of you are just biding your time until your knight rides up on his white stallion and swoops you up onto his saddle, and the two of you ride off into the sunset. Has that ever really happened for anybody? Seriously? The one time we thought it did, with Prince Charles and Princess Diana, the most watched and anticipated wedding