Welcome to the Monkey House - Kurt Vonnegut [103]
"Please," said Sylvia, trying to hold him, trying to calm him, "we’ve got to find Eli. That’s the first thing."
"The first thing," said Doctor Remenzel quite loudly, "is to get Eli admitted to Whitehall. After that we’ll find him, and we’ll bring him back."
"But darling—" said Sylvia.
"No ’but’ about it," said Doctor Remenzel. "There’s a majority of the Board of Overseers in this room at this very moment. Every one of them is a close friend of mine, or a close friend of my father. If they tell Doctor Warren Eli’s in, that’s it—Eli’s in. If there’s room for all these other people," he said, "there’s damn well room for Eli too."
He strode quickly to a table nearby, sat down heavily and began to talk to a fierce-looking and splendid old gentleman who was eating there. The old gentleman was chairman of the board.
Sylvia apologized to the baffled Hilyers, and then went in search of Eli.
Asking this person and that person, Sylvia found him. He was outside—all alone on a bench in a bower of lilacs that had just begun to bud.
Eli heard his mother’s coming on the gravel path, stayed where he was, resigned. "Did you find out," he said, "or do I still have to tell you?"
"About you?" she said gently. "About not getting in? Doctor Warren told us."
"I tore his letter up," said Eli.
"I can understand that," she said. "Your father and I have always made you feel that you had to go to Whitehill, that nothing else would do."
"I feel better," said Eli. He tried to smile, found he could do it easily. "I feel so much better now that it’s over. I tried to tell you a couple of times—but I just couldn’t. I didn’t know how."
"That’s my fault, not yours," she said.
"What’s father doing?" said Eli.
Sylvia was so intent on comforting Eli that she’d put out of her mind what her husband was up to. Now she realized that Doctor Remenzel was making a ghastly mistake. She didn’t want Eli admitted to Whitehill, could see what a cruel thing that would be.
She couldn’t bring herself to tell the boy what his father was doing, so she said, "He’ll be along in a minute, dear. He understands." And then she said, "You wait here, and I’ll go get him and come right back."
But she didn’t have to go to Doctor Remenzel. At that moment the big man came out of the inn and caught sight of his wife and son. He came to her and to Eli. He looked dazed.
"Well?" she said.
"They—they all said no," said Doctor Remenzel, very subdued.
"That’s for the best," said Sylvia. "I’m relieved. I really am."
"Who said no?" said Eli. "Who said no to what?"
"The members of the board," said Doctor Remenzel, not looking anyone in the eye. "I asked them to make an exception in your case—to reverse their decision and let you in."
Eli stood, his face filled with incredulity and shame that were instant. "You what?" he said, and there was no childishness in the way he said it. Next came anger. "You shouldn’t have done that!" he said to his father.
Doctor Remenzel nodded. "So I’ve already been told."
"That isn’t done!" said Eli. "How awful! You shouldn’t have."
"You’re right," said Doctor Remenzel, accepting the scolding lamely.
"Now I am ashamed," said Eli, and he showed that he was.
Doctor Remenzel, in his wretchedness, could find no strong words to say. "I apologize to you both," he said at last. "It was a very bad thing to try."
"Now a Remenzel has asked for something," said Eli.
"I don’t suppose Ben’s back yet with the car?" said Doctor Remenzel. It was obvious that Ben wasn’t. "We’ll wait out here for him," he said. "I don’t want to go back in there now."
"A Remenzel asked for something—as though a Remenzel were something special," said Eli.
"I don’t suppose—" said Doctor Remenzel, and he left the sentence unfinished, dangling in the air.
"You don’t suppose what?" said his wife, her face puzzled.
"I don’t suppose," said Doctor Remenzel, "that we’ll ever be coming here any more."
(1962)
UNREADY TO WEAR
I DON’T SUPPOSE the oldsters, those of us who weren’t born into it, will ever feel quite at home being amphibious