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“I told you not to push me. I hope you’re happy now. It’s over.” Bobby hung himself, but his phone never disconnected, so Darlene could hear the sounds of him choking until there was dead silence except for one single bird chirping in the background. Bobby was dead.

When Beth found out about Bobby’s death, she called Darlene up and told her to come in and see us. She was crying from the moment she walked through the door. I looked at Darlene and said, “You know that Bobby is dead because of you, right? You wouldn’t get off the dope, you dared him to kill himself, and now he’s dead. You’re under arrest.”

Just as I told Darlene she was going back to jail, Bobby’s mother and oldest brother walked through the door. They were looking for anything they could find with his handwriting on it. She wanted something from her baby to hold. When the mother saw Darlene in my office, she started calling her every horrible name in the book. Who could blame her? I sat the mother down and told her about my daughter Barbara Katie. I assured her that I understood her pain because I had lost a child too. I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone in her grief.

“He’s with you now and forever.” I started telling her all of the words of comfort that were said to me when I got the news about Barbara Katie, hoping they would relieve her anguish at losing her son. Bobby’s mother looked up and asked Beth if she could see Darlene. She wanted to talk to her. Beth was hesitant at first, but she wasn’t going to deny Bobby’s mother this simple request. If the meeting became heated, we knew we could handle it.

To my surprise, they hugged each other and cried in each other’s arms. Darlene was cuffed at first, but when I realized what was happening, I uncuffed her so she could hold Bobby’s mother.

“When you were hungry, didn’t I feed you? When you were cold, didn’t I clothe you? I knew you and Bobby were doing wrong things, yet I treated you like you were my own daughter.” The mother had her hands on Darlene’s shoulders. “Look at what your drugs have done. Don’t let your addiction kill anyone else. Get yourself clean, Darlene. If you do, I will always be there to hold you, help you, feed you, clothe you, and whatever else you need. If you do this, know you can come back to me.”

I was moved to tears as Bobby’s mother held Darlene that night in my office. I was stunned by her show of mercy, her generosity of heart. I could only hope and pray that Darlene heard the words that were spoken to her, that she’d somehow find her way to get sober and clean up her life so Bobby’s death would not be in vain. I drove her to jail later that night with hope in my heart but doubt on my mind that she would find her way.

It’s hard to know there are people in the world who, despite every chance given, will not make it. I get so discouraged and disappointed by them. It’s hard for me to hear that someone I had high hopes for is back in jail…or worse. It’s too sad to think about, so I try to avoid the “where are they now” conversations. I make it a point not to become friends with the people I bond, so I can’t possibly get dragged down to where they are. I pray for all of them, but I try not to think about them after they’re off the bond. It’s the only way I can leave my work in the office at the end of the day. I owe it to my family to be present for them, to be there for their needs and comfort them when they need it from their dad and when Beth wants it from me as a husband.

If you’re struggling with drugs or addiction, think about Bobby and Darlene’s story. Don’t let your situation take you down to the point of no return. Ask for help or be willing to accept it if someone you love tries to tell you it’s time to make some changes. There is absolutely no reason someone has to die to understand how precious life is. When you’re in the gutter, there’s no place to go but up. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst-case scenario? If I keep doing drugs, what will happen? If I stay in this abusive relationship, what will happen? If I