Why Good Girls Don't Get Ahead_. But Gutsy Girls Do - Kate White [73]
I've also been bold enough to quiz people. I would never ask anyone's actual salary (though I would if I thought they'd tell me), but I've asked peers whom I know in the industry what they feel is the going rate for the position that we're in. They won't give an exact amount, but they'll offer a range, which can be very revealing. How do I know they're not lying? Well, here's my theory: I don't think they lowball the number because they don't want you to think they're making a skimpy salary. And they don't highball it because they wouldn't want you to go out and ask for more than they're making.
Next you need to figure your value to the company. In some areas, like sales, it's easy, but in others it's tougher to quantify. Do your best to calculate your value based on the business you've brought in, the projects you've created or executed, the money you've saved the company.
Now Increase That Number by 20 Percent
Good girls are notorious for deflating their value, so this offers you the necessary padding.
Let Them Name the First Number
Even though you've got a number in your head, generally it's best to let them go first. That's to protect yourself from coming in lower than even what they had in mind.
Always Ask for More—Even if They Say Your Number
That's really an unpleasant proposition, isn't it? Good girls worry that if they ask for more, they'll damage the rapport and trust that's been established. As a friend of mine says, “You're afraid they're going to yank the offer right out from under you for being such a brat to warn more.”
And yet, as my guru in human resources reveals, “they” always have more than the number they give. And they go in expecting that you might ask for it. A study we mentioned in Working Woman found that 80 percent of the time those who asked for a bigger raise got it.
Use the Phrase “I'm Looking For…”
When you do ask for more, avoid pleading phrases like “I really need …” or demanding ones like “You have to give me …” “I'm looking for” is a nice neutral statement.
THE GUTSY WAY TO TAKE A NO
Sometimes, no matter how beautifully you've asked—whether it's for money, or more staff, or more responsibility—you will be told no. Never simply accept a no and proceed to the door with your tail between your legs.
Scenario One: They Claim You Haven't Earned It
If the no appears to be based on a problem with your performance (“I don't think you're ready for that kind of project,” or “We feel someone from the outside could bring the kind of fresh thinking we need,” etc.), you should use this as an opportunity to ask questions and explore exactly how your boss views you and your work.
To a good girl this is about as appealing as renting a house alone in the woods, leaving the back door open, and watching Night of the Living Dead. Why terrify yourself? A gutsy girl knows, however, that in the long run, whatever discomfort she feels will end up paying off for her—it's her chance to improve her performance or change a misperception. Ellen Abramowitz, who was the ad director at Working Woman and is now the advertising director of Seventeen, always used to tell me, “You can't be afraid of the bad stuff. When you listen to the negative things they're saying, you translate it into something you can accomplish.”
Though you need to know the bad stuff, you don't want a bloodbath That's not only unpleasant for you at the moment, but it can also cast a pall over your relationship with your boss. The key is to hear the negative in a positive way. You can do that by using a strategy I learned from one of the best publishers I ever worked with. Whenever the magazine didn't win a piece of business from an advertiser, rather than ask. “Why don't you want to advertise with us?” she'd say, “What do we have to do to get the business