Why We Suck_ A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid - Denis Leary [10]
Because let's face the real facts: I may personally have no interest in Britney's bush, but you come up with a flash pic of Heather Locklear's or Sienna Miller's or Meryl Streep's and not only am I in-men all over the world are hard-charging to the Internet and their local magazine racks. Hell-Meryl Streep would send a lot of WOMEN running after those shots, if only to check out what Oscar-winning pussy looks like.
And that's why Muslims hate us. Not because they hate pussy or celebrity pussy photography. Just the opposite-they love it just as much if not more than we do. They just can't get their hands on it as readily as we can.
BRITNEY SPEARS'S HEAD
See preceding section on Britney's vagina.
Only in this case, the little-known Tarzana, California, hair salon she suddenly stepped into-demanding they shave off all of her hair before grabbing the shears and performing the task herself-at first discussed her condition as if they actually gave a shit about her. Words like "concerned" and "sad" and "hope" were being bandied about. But come the bright new light of the following morn?
They were selling her shorn locks on eBay.
Along with the empty can of Red Bull she left behind.
And her blue Bic cigarette lighter.
All available to the highest bidder.
In the newspapers that same day the shop owner's husband was quoted as saying some-and I emphasize the word "some"-of the proceeds from the sale would go to charity, possibly-and again I emphasize the word "possibly"-including Locks Of Love, which supplies wigs to kids with cancer. He also was quick to point out that the tresses from Britney's naked skull were the ONLY authentic Britney tresses available for sale.
Wow.
Imagine how much her pubic hair would be worth on eBay.
And which kids' cancer charity would "probably" receive "some" of the profits.
Britney Spears is a national train wreck who leaves the entire Western world looking suspect in her wake:
a. all the housewives and postfeminist pulpit bangers who buy the magazines with all the pictures of the hair and the hair salon and the vagina (with a gold star over the important bits) in them.
b. the paparazzi who not only take those unbelievable photos but the one or two who have apparently started having sex with her since the children were taken away and she blew a serious gasket.
c. the college and high school kids who-upon hearing that on the night she locked herself in the bathroom of her mansion with one of the kids when the cops came to take them away and place them back into the protectively tattooed arms of K-Fed-the night when she was photographed and videotaped being led out of the house while strapped on a gurney looking wild-eyed and insaner than ever-she apparently had been drinking a combo of Red Bull, vodka and NyQuil. Yeah. NyQuil. These college and high school kids immediately started having parties at which that concoction was not only served in great numbers but was given various nicknames: Purple Drank, Wake-Up Call, Britney Stinger, Good'n Crazy, The 911 etcetera etcetera.
d. Dr. Phil/Full and his holier-than-thou visit to the hospital to "help" Britney after she snapped and his claim immediately afterward that he was hosting an hour-long episode of his talk show where he and Britney would have a sit-down and he would help her turn the whole messy thing around and get her back on the right track. Which would've been nice. But she changed her mind. And he was still going to use her name to sell the episode until an uproar arose and everyone started calling him a media whore/ambulance chaser etc. Which gives you some hope for the American people. Until you stop to realize if Britney HAD appeared on the program it would more than likely have been the highest-rated show on TV all year.
Believe me when I tell you-it's not just the Muslims who look at such information and immediately begin building bombs.
Anyone talked