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By Root 982 0

listing of All The Important Things She Did When Her Husband Was President, she just simply said-hey, I spent those eight years trying to shield my only daughter from the international media glare. I'd have stepped right up to support her if-rather than bullshitting her way through imaginary snipers in Bosnian airports and peacemaking meetings with Irish officials that were actually only sitdowns for tea (probably Woman Ends The IRA brand), she had coughed up a couple of good cookie recipes and an itemization of how she helped Chelsea get ready for her SATs.

But no-she wanted to prove that she was more like a man than a mom and that she wasn't just traveling the world in a jumbo private jet to satisfy her own ego-she was out there making a difference. Of course, if she had been at home doting on her husband it may have kept him from trawling for interns.

No mention of interns in the eleven thousand pages, by the way.

It's hard for men to have sympathy for The Feminist Movement when one of its arbiters-Gloria Steinem-took the opportunity of supporting Hillary's bid for White House glory to say being a black man in America was easier than being a woman because at least the black man got the vote thirty years before women did.

Wow. Really?

I wonder how Martin Luther King Jr. would have responded to that quote?

Last time I looked, no one's ever tried to assassinate Gloria Steinem because she has tits.

It's hard to have respect for a woman like Brenda Berkman, who went to court in 1982 to force the FDNY to place her as a member of that department even though she had failed the physical test.

This goes right to the brunt spine of the argument-you wanna be a firefighter-you have to pass the test. Everyone does. Fat guy, skinny guy, black fat guy, yellow skinny guy-fat Muslim, fat Jew, fat Catholic-race, color, creed and sexual equipment have nothing to do with it. It's the same as saying you wanna play professional football-you want Lawrence Taylor's job? Strap on a sports bra, a pair of shoulder pads and a helmet and get out there to kick some ass.

Only difference between football and firefighting is:

a. Fire

b. Life

c. Death

The fire test-among many other feats-requires that you run up seven flights of stairs while wearing and carrying over 100 pounds of equipment, pick up a 150-pound human dummy and carry it all the way back down-within a certain number of seconds. Just like you would in a real fire. Brenda couldn't do it. She had to drag the dummy down by the feet for the last five flights. So her lawyer-the noted feminist Gloria All-red-argued that Brenda, by dragging the dummy, had actually helped save the dummy's life because smoke rises and therefore keeping the head on the stairs the whole way down and below the smoke level was better.

No mention of the fact that five flights of head-banging might lead to a 150-pound quadraplegic. Or the fact that even back then, the only fire victim you're gonna find who weighs less than 200 pounds is either an infant, an anorexic or a crackhead. Unless the fire was in a modeling agency. This is America-most people you are going to rescue in a fire have THIGHS that weigh 150 pounds.

Doesn't matter.

Brenda won the case and was then thoroughly dismayed at the lack of respect she received from the guys on the job. She even went so far as to say-immediately after 9/11-that looking at the names of the 343 firemen who died that day disgusted her-because it didn't have one female name on it. That going to the funerals and hearing the words "firemen" and "fireman" and "the brothers" and "the brotherhood" used during the eulogies was "hard to take after twenty years on this job." Not hard to take because 343 genuine American heroes had given their lives in what goes down on record as the single greatest rescue event in the history of the fire service. No. Hard to take because it wasn't about her and her "cause."

Open vagina-insert head.

I don't know about you but if my kids or my wife or even me and my skinny, hairless Irish ass are trapped inside a burning building, the person