Why We Suck_ A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid - Denis Leary [90]
My cousin Jerry Lucey was a kickass firefighter who gave his life in the line of duty at age thirty-eight while trying to rescue a homeless couple from a burning warehouse building in our hometown of Worcester, Massachusetts, back in 1999. Jerry was a big, competitive guy who loved his job and in his obituary was called "a firefighter's firefighter" by the men he worked side by side with, a phrase that implies the pride and trust and honor and respect his co-workers felt for him. You cannot be given those words by a judge or a legal brief or a team of spin doctors. You have to do it the old-fashioned way-you have to earn it. I believe that system works just fine.
But then again-I'm crazy that way. I actually think you need to actually be able to DO the job if you wanna get paid the same as a man.
And when it comes to equal rights-why are female reporters allowed to roam through men's locker rooms, while the guys are naked and/or toweling off? But guys don't have the same right when it comes to the locker room the girls are in. Hmmm.
Double standard much?
There was a case in Boston recently where a group of male FBI agents cracking a case brought in a whipsmart female D.A. and made her a part of their team. She led them into court and argued a brilliant angle that not only won the day, it apparently almost single-handedly guaranteed a conviction. When they left the courtroom, one of the guys was so happy about the job she did, he grabbed her from behind around the head and gave her a noogie. Now-amongst men, giving a guy a noogie is considered one of the ultimate signs of respect. In fact, if you were gonna chart out what various physical signs between men actually mean, it would break down like this:
The history of The Noogie and its use by men goes back all the way from that courtroom scene through the Three Stooges and every dad and his son and big brothers and little brothers and Little League coaches and probably even Jesus and certain Apostles (odds being firmly against Judas).
The female D.A. should have considered it the ultimate equal rights tribute. But instead?
She filed a sexual harassment suit.
Open vagina-insert noogie.
Once the suit was filed the three FBI agents-fearing the politically correct era we all slog along in-refused to acknowledge that there was a noogie when they were questioned because they knew by the D.A.'s response when she was given the noogie that she didn't understand the depth and breadth of meaning the noogie brought to the situation.
Noogies aren't politically correct.
This is the era we live in.
No noogies.
Next thing you know-you give one to your kid, it'll be called child abuse.
We live in a country where the fireman coming to save you might be a firewoman who may actually do more damage while trying to pull you out of the fire than if she had never shown up at all.
We live in a country where Don Imus calls the Rutgers women's basketball team a bunch of nappy-headed ho's and gets chastized by former gangbanger and gangsta rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg, who-when someone compared his lyrics to Imus's statement-said "We ain't no old ass white man sittin' on top a MSNBC-some punk-we talkin' 'bout other ho's-ho's that's in the 'hood that ain't doin' shit, that's tryna get a nigga for his money-these are two separate things."
We live in a country in which, when Barack Obama calls some working-class voters in Pennsylvania so bitter and pissed off by the lack of help from their own government that they cling to guns and religion and a hatred of immigrants as a way to vent their frustration, those very same bitter, pissed-off voters who cling to guns and religion and a hatred of immigrants vent their frustration by voting for Hillary Clinton, who was BORN in that part of Pennsylvania and knows that what Obama said is true but decides to just jump