Without a Word_ How a Boy's Unspoken Love Changed Everything - Jill Kelly [43]
Please eradicate this wretched disease that has come to steal, kill, and destroy the precious life of my son. Make a way, Lord, please. Do You hear me? Do You see him suffering? How long will You wait to lift the burden? How long? Until that day, we can’t survive without You… please help us.
October 31, 2002 (Halloween)—Hunter dressed up as Stuart Little.
December 17, 2002—Every time I read The Three Trees to the kids, I cry. That book speaks right to my fear and doubt. There is a purpose for our trials that goes beyond my ability to grasp, and I’ve just got to let go and… let God.
Hunter’s eyes have been bothering him a lot lately so we’ve been putting eye drops in often. He is incredibly patient with all the poking and prodding we do to his body.
Thank You for Hunter and for getting our attention through his precious life. You know what it’s like to watch Your Son suffer—Lord, have mercy on us, please. Hunter needs You. He’s so tough, but he’s getting tired. It’s so hard to watch him struggle. Don’t give up, little buddy; please don’t give up.
Even now, after typing in the previous entry, that same wave of worry swept over me and I remember how desperate I was for Hunter to be free from pain and bodily strife. Surrendering my fears was a daily battle that I sometimes failed to conquer.
As you can imagine, Jim’s Hall of Fame induction was the highlight of 2002 for our entire family. I’ll never forget the stillness of the crowd when Jim thanked God for Hunter, and the eruption of cheers after he said, “My hero, my soldier, my son, Hunter. I love you, buddy.” I’m certain that Jim’s speech will be considered one of the best induction speeches of all time, all because of Hunter.
We were so thankful that Hunter was able to be there. Although Jim Kelly’s enshrinement in the Hall of Fame that day was a grand honor, Jim and I both agree that nothing compares to our son taking his place in the “Hall of Faith.”
Chapter 11
Hunter at Seven
Year Seven, 2003–2004
As you’ll see, my journals become more and more focused on God at this time rather than on Hunter and the girls. Also, I pray more fervently for my husband. I suppose at some point the realization that Hunter was going to be healed eventually, no matter what (either here on Earth or in heaven), gave me an invincible peace and comfort that allowed me to pray more for Jim, whose “illness” was rooted in his soul rather than his body.
His was an issue of the heart, a healing only God could grant. If the heart is the wellspring of life, then I was willing to get down on both knees for his.
January 23, 2003—I’m laughing right now because my aunt Dodie is hysterical. She had Hunter rummaging through our kitchen cupboards today while he was up in his Kid Kart. Despite his apnea and bowel issues, he still wants to have fun. He doesn’t have that much free time during the day because of his jam-packed therapy schedule and school session, so we try to get in at least a few hours of kid fun. He was also messing around in his closet and pulling clothes and stuff out of his armoire drawers. As I write, I can’t help laughing, especially because I’m such a neat freak. He had things spread out all over his closet and the kitchen. I’m certain that if the two of them were able, they would have been throwing things around the kitchen as well.
We’ll be taking Hunter to the hospital tomorrow for a chest and hip x-ray, ECHO [echocardiogram] test, and sputum culture, per Dr. Duffner. She’s such a blessing. Hunter’s 42 inches tall now and growing; thank You, Lord.
February 23, 2003—Erin asked me to pray over her and kiss her while she sleeps tonight. She knows Hunter and I are up throughout the night,