Without a Word_ How a Boy's Unspoken Love Changed Everything - Jill Kelly [76]
As our guests filled the seats, I scurried around the main lodge getting ready. In contrast to our wedding, I wanted to simplify as much as possible. I kept my hair and make-up understated, with Erin Marie making sure I didn’t overdo. And except for one thing—the fairy-tale princess skirt from my wedding—I pulled my outfit together with clothes from my closet. I had decided to wear that one part of my original wedding dress because the detachable silk tulle overskirt was still as beautiful as it was the first time I wore it. Oddly, I had always hoped to wear that piece of my dress again. It was so spectacular I thought maybe even Erin or Camryn might choose to wear it when they got married.
The last thing I had to do before mounting my camouflage golf-cart-chariot was put on the tulle skirt. Everything else was done. My mom finished ironing it and handed it to me. As I talked through how I imagined the events of the evening would proceed, thirteen-year-old Erin Marie, who was close by listening, politely interrupted me and asked, “Mommy, do you think I can say something tonight at your ceremony?”
I was so surprised. “Oh my, Erin! Of course you can. I didn’t ask you because I thought you would be nervous talking in front of all those people. We would love it.”
In the midst of all the hustle and bustle, I found myself reflecting on some of the events that had led up to this moment. I thought about how incredible it was that Jim and I had survived. We were different now. Everything had changed. It was almost as if we were getting married for the very first time.
We had been through so much. We had wanted to give up and walk away many times. Yet we didn’t.
Divorce was no longer lurking around the corner of our lives. Unforgiveness and deception had no part in our relationship anymore. Unconditional love had healed our broken and hardened hearts. After twelve years of marital strife, we had finally discovered what real love was. We were now truly in love—possibly for the first time ever—for real. It was incredible.
It was a miracle.
“Mom, can you believe this is really happening?” I said as I grabbed my perfectly ironed skirt from her hands.
“Only God, Jill… only God,” she responded.
As I pulled the tulle overskirt up over my hips and draped the silk bow across my waist to fasten the hidden buttons, I paused. While everyone in the room stared at me, patiently waiting to gaze upon the finished product—I burst out laughing.
“It doesn’t fit.” I laughed.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” my mother replied. “Didn’t you try it on?”
“No. I knew the other piece of the dress would never fit me, but I thought for sure the skirt would. What are we going to do?” I exclaimed.
“Do you even have a sewing kit here?” my mother asked as she started rifling through the bathroom drawers.
“I have no idea. I doubt it.”
I started laughing again, and my mother and Karyn joined me.
How appropriate that in the midst of these intense preparations and heart-pondering moments, a bit of comic relief should intrude. I had managed to keep back tears all day long, and now, ironically, as I started to really think about all that was happening, my skirt didn’t fit. How perfect. I was rather thin for our wedding, but I didn’t think I had gained that much weight. It must have been the three kiddos.
I don’t remember where the needle and thread came from or how my mother managed to move the buttons and sew them back on, but she did. And it was hysterical.
At 7:30 p.m., as the sun started to set over the scenic Ellicottville hills, my camouflage chariot was ready.
“Do I look okay?” I said to my mother.
“You look beautiful, Jill.”
As my “entourage” and I slowly made our way down the stairs, my