Without a Word_ How a Boy's Unspoken Love Changed Everything - Jill Kelly [8]
That night would be the first of many adjustments my family would have to make as Jim and I spent more and more time together. Simply put, everything about Jim and his lifestyle was drastically different from what I was accustomed to. For Jim, life was just one big party once the game was over. He was completely focused on football when it was time for football, but he used his free time to enjoy every ounce of his celebrity.
Though clueless about his world, I tried my best to act as if I had it all figured out. Learning to roll with the punches while adjusting to life Kelly-style was my only option. Because Jim was recognized everywhere we went, I had to master the ins and outs of being in public with him: head down, walk fast, and if someone yells out, “Hey, Jim Kelly!”—just keep walking.
Although it could be annoying to have people screaming one’s name, I was so impressed with Jim’s patience toward his adoring fans. He was always willing to sign an autograph and was particularly kind to kids. Jim’s unpretentious way made him very approachable. Despite his national prominence, Jim was just an ordinary guy. Still, it was all so crazy, especially during the Super Bowl days. Everybody wanted a piece of Jim—no one more than me—and we had to constantly adjust our lives around the incessant demands for his attention.
A year and a half after we met, I decided to move out of my parents’ home. Bent on personal success and proving myself worthy of adulthood, I dove into the many possibilities available at the time and settled in South Florida, with a career in television marketing and production as my focus.
Even though I was having a blast down in the Sunshine State, the long-distance relationship thing with Jim just wasn’t working. In my absence Jim realized that he was willing to give up some things in order to have me by his side, and eventually he asked me to move in with him. We’d been dating for almost three years by this time. It was a huge commitment for Jim. After all, these were the Super Bowl years—the glory days—and he was the Buffalo Bills’ marquee quarterback. But it was also a huge commitment for me.
The decision to move back to Western New York and into Jim’s home would ultimately alter the rest of my life, and Jim’s as well. On May 4, 1994, exactly one year prior to the birth of our first child, I crossed the threshold of his house and simultaneously set off a domino effect of events that would completely transform my world.
Four months after Jim’s bachelor pad became my new address, my period was late. My menstrual cycle had never been consistent, so no alarms went off at first. However, once two weeks had passed and my period still had not started, I grew very concerned.
Jim was wrapped up with football; I didn’t want to bother him. But I did need to know if I was pregnant, so I decided to purchase a home pregnancy test. The entire scenario was so foreign to me that I didn’t realize how many different versions of tests were available. Even if I had known, I felt so embarrassed that the last thing I would have wanted to do was linger in a store and compare brands.
I hurriedly purchased the cheapest test and called my close friend Mary and asked her if I could stop over. Little did she know that my plan was to take the pregnancy test in her home. I didn’t want to be alone.
Many thoughts surged through my already-cluttered mind: What if I’m pregnant? Everyone will know. How will I tell my parents? What have I done? I should have never moved into that house. I was terrified.
Once I took the test, I handed Mary the stick. “What does this mean?” I asked. Her eyes widened and she looked at me with a smile. “Well, it looks like that’s a solid line right there, so…”
“Does that