Without a Word_ How a Boy's Unspoken Love Changed Everything - Jill Kelly [9]
We laughed off the initial test—figuring I’d gotten what I’d paid for—but I was starting to worry. Surely the positive reading was a mistake, right? The best thing to do was to head to the nearest store and purchase the most expensive pregnancy test available. And that’s exactly what I did.
The second test read positive as well.
Mary took one look at the stick and walked toward me with arms outstretched. “Jill, what are you going to do?” she whispered as she hugged me close.
“I have to call my mom,” I replied. “She’s in Chicago, but I can’t wait until she gets back. I have to call her today. Like right now.”
This predicament seemed unimaginable, even though my own actions had brought me to this point. A rush of reality slammed into my so-called perfect world as Mary and I sat together and wept.
When we walked outside and over to my truck, Mary tried to encourage me. “Jill, whatever you need, I’m here for you. Give me a call after you talk to your mom, okay?”
We hugged one more time and then I drove away. I was a fearful mess, pondering all sorts of scenarios in my head. Now what? How am I going to tell my parents? How am I going to tell Jim? What will he say? What if he wants me to get an abortion? That is not an option.
I was absolutely overwhelmed. Jim’s bachelor pad wasn’t ready for a baby. But more importantly, neither were Jim and I.
My mother was away on business, but the phone call had to be made. When she got on the line, I nervously blurted out the news: “Mom, I’m sorry for calling you while you’re traveling but I need to talk to you…. Mom, I’m pregnant.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “How do you know?” Then, “Oh my, Jill, I can’t believe you’re telling me this over the phone. I’ll try and get the next flight out of Chicago. And don’t worry, everything’s going to be okay. I’ll be home as soon as I can get there.”
I can only imagine what was going through my mother’s mind as I shared the details of my afternoon at Mary’s house. “Mom, what am I going to do?” I asked. “I’m scared to tell Dad; he’s going to freak out. How am I going to tell Jim?”
Thankfully, my mom was able to cancel her meetings and take the next flight out of Chicago. As soon as she got into town, my mother, who was and is my best friend, met me at a restaurant, where we spent the majority of our time together in tears. We decided that she would be the one to tell my father and brother. The one thing I remember my mother saying was, “We will be here for you no matter what, Jill.”
While comforted and encouraged by her words, I was also terribly ashamed. Afraid of how my father would react, I couldn’t help but wonder, Will he still love me? Will he support me no matter what?
What a mess.
My brother, Jack, has since told me that both he and Dad were understandably shocked at the news. Initially, my father was angry and fearful. He felt helpless and wanted to make sure Jim would do the right thing. He certainly didn’t want his daughter to be abandoned by some flamboyant football star.
Fortunately, as vulnerable and concerned as my parents felt, they were determined to support me through thick and thin. In the meantime, I was grappling with perhaps the most frightening questions of all: How in the world would I tell Jim? When should I tell him?
He had an important game coming up, and I didn’t want to break the news before then. The distraction could ruin his concentration and negatively affect his play, I reasoned. If the team lost, he might blame it all on me. Then where would that leave us?
While I tried to figure out the best approach and timing with Jim, there was one thing I clearly needed to do: confirm the pregnancy officially. I had a blood test done, and on September 21, the results came back—positive. The secret couldn’t wait any longer. Jim needed to know.
The following afternoon, after