Without remorse - Tom Clancy [21]
'No! I hate the goddamned stuff. People die because of it!' Kelly's anger was immediate and vicious, but it wasn't aimed at Sam Rosen.
The professor took the outburst calmly. It was his turn to be businesslike. 'Settle down. People get hooked on these things. How doesn't matter. Getting excited doesn't help. Take a deep breath, let it out slow.'
Kelly did, and managed a smile at the incongruity of the moment. 'You sound just like my dad.'
'Firemen are smart.' He paused. 'Okay, your lady friend may have a problem. But she seems like a nice girl, and you seem like a mensch. So do we try and solve the problem or not?'
'I guess that's up to her,' Kelly observed, bitterness creeping into his voice. He felt betrayed. He'd started giving his heart away again, and now he had to face the fact that he might have been giving it to drugs, or what drugs had made of what ought to have been a person. It might all have been a waste of time.
Rosen became a little stern. 'That's right, it is up to her, but it might be up to you, too, a little, and if you act like an idiot, you won't help her very much.'
Kelly was amazed by how rational the man sounded under the circumstances. 'You must be a pretty good doc.'
'I'm one hell of a good doc,' Rosen announced. 'This isn't my field, but Sarah is damned good. It may be you're both lucky. She's not a bad girl, John. Something's bothering her. She's nervous about something, in case you didn't notice.'
'Well, yes, but -' And some part of Kelly's brain said, See!
'But you mainly noticed she's pretty. I was in my twenties once myself, John. Come on, we may have a little work ahead.' He stopped and peered at Kelly. 'I'm missing something here. What is it?'
'I lost a wife less than a year ago.' Kelly explained on for a minute or two.
'And you thought that maybe she -'
'Yeah, I guess so. Stupid, isn't it?' Kelly wondered why he was opening up this way. Why not just let Pam do whatever she wanted? But that wasn't an answer. If he did that, he would just be using her for his selfish needs, discarding her when the bloom came off the rose. For all the reverses his life had taken in the past year, he knew that he couldn't do that, couldn't be one of those men. He caught Rosen looking fixedly at him.
Rosen shook his head judiciously. 'We all have vulnerabilities. You have training and experience to deal with your problems. She doesn't. Come on, we have work to do.' Rosen took the hand truck in his large, soft hands and wheeled it towards the bunker.
The cool air inside was a surprisingly harsh blast of reality. Pam was trying to entertain Sarah, but not succeeding. Perhaps Sarah had written it off to the awkward social situation, but physicians' minds are always at work, and she was starting to apply a professional eye to the person in front of her. When Sam entered the living room, Sarah turned and gave him a look that Kelly was able to understand.
'And so, well, I left home when I was sixteen,' Pam was saying, rattling on in a monotonal voice that exposed more than she knew. Her eyes turned, too, and focused on the backpack Kelly held in his hand. Her voice had a surprisingly brittle character that he'd not noticed before.
'Oh, great. I need some of that stuff.' She came over and took the pack from his hands, then headed towards the master bedroom. Kelly and Rosen watched her leave, then Sam handed his wife the plastic container. She needed only one look.
'I didn't know,' Kelly said, feeling the need to defend himself. 'I didn't see her take anything.' He thought back, trying to remember times when she had not been in his sight, and concluded that she might have taken pills two or perhaps three times, then realizing what her dreamy eyes had really been after all.
'Sarah?' Sam asked.
'Three-hundred-milligram. It ought not to be a severe case, but she does need assistance.'
Pam came back into the room a few seconds later, telling Kelly that she'd left something on the boat. Her hands weren't