Writing Analytically, 6th Edition - Rosenwasser, David & Stephen, Jill [172]
As a general rule, use thesis questions cautiously, especially in final drafts. Although a thesis question often functions well to spark a writer’s thinking, it can too often muddy the thinking by leaving the area of consideration too broad. Make sure that you do not let the thesis-question approach allow you to evade the responsibility of making some kind of claim. Especially in the drafting stage, a question posed overtly by the writer can provide focus, but only if he or she then proceeds to answer it with what would become a first statement of thesis.
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Try This 12.2: Determining What the Thesis Requires You to Do Next
Learning to diagnose the strengths and weaknesses of thesis statements is a skill that comes in handy as you read the claims of others and revise your own. A good question for diagnosing a thesis is What does the thesis require the writer to do next? This question should help you to figure out what the thesis actually wants to claim, which can then direct you to possible rephrasings that would better direct your thinking.
Using this question as a prompt, list the strengths and weaknesses of the following two thesis statements, and then rewrite them. In the first statement, just rewrite the last sentence (the other sentences have been included to provide context).
Many economists and politicians agree that, along with the Environmental Protection Agency’s newest regulations, a global-warming treaty could damage the American economy. Because of the great expense that such environmental standards require, domestic industries would financially suffer. Others argue, however, that severe regulatory steps must be taken to prevent global warming, regardless of cost. Despite both legitimate claims, the issue of protecting the environment while still securing our global competitiveness remains critical.
Regarding promotion into executive positions, women are continually losing the race because of a corporate view that women are too compassionate to keep up with the competitiveness of a powerful firm.
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GUIDELINES FOR RECOGNIZING AND FIXING WEAK THESIS STATEMENTS
Your thesis should make a claim with which it would be possible for readers to disagree. In other words, move beyond defending statements that your readers would accept as obviously true.
Be skeptical of your first (often semiautomatic) response to a subject: it will often be a cliché (however unintentional). Avoid conventional wisdom unless you introduce a fresh perspective on it.
Convert broad categories and generic (fits anything) claims to more specific assertions. Find ways to bring out the complexity of your subject.
Submit the wording of your thesis to this grammatical test: if it follows the “abstract noun + is + evaluative adjective” formula (“The economic situation is bad”), substitute a more specific noun and an active verb that will force you to predicate something about a focused subject (“Tax laws benefit the rich”).
Routinely examine and question your own key terms and categories rather than simply accepting them. Assume that they mean more than you first thought.
Always work to uncover and make explicit the unstated assumptions (premises) underlying your thesis. Don’t treat debatable premises as givens.
As a rule, be suspicious of thesis statements that depend on words such as “real,” “accurate,” “believable,” “right,” and “good.” These words usually signal that you are offering personal opinions—what “feels” right to you—as self-evident truths for everybody.
One way to assess the adequacy of a thesis statement is to ask yourself where the writer would need to go next to develop his or her idea. If you can’t answer that question, then the thesis is still too weak.
Qualify your claims; you will avoid the global pronouncements—typical of the dangers of overly categorical thinking—that are too broad to be of much use (or true).