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By Root 10232 0

and telling place in which selfdeprecation pops up is in stories. Late night television is an excellent medium through which to study storytelling; in addition to the release dates of the projects they are promoting, celebrities always come equipped with an anecdote or two. Tannen includes a study of the differences found in stories told by men from those told by women. Her findings indicated that “the stories the men told made them look good” while the women were more likely to tell stories “in which they [women] violate social norms and are scared or embarrassed as a result” (Understand 177). The behavior of men on late night talk shows would seem to contradict these findings: the men’s stories usually involve them telling of an incident in which, they were, indeed, “embarrassed as a result.” However, when we look at the content of these stories, it becomes apparent that these stories function on a more sophisticated level than simple self-effacement.

[This paragraph begins the writer’s summation and culmination of her analysis. Notice how deftly she uses Tannen’s key terms rather than just relying on quotation.] Whether it is Paul Rudd’s story about showing an embarrassing movie at a friend’s wedding or Steve Carrell’s anecdote about his parents flying on a plane with a Thanksgiving turkey because his cooking “sucks,” the men doing the self-deprecating do not ultimately portray themselves in an embarrassing or pathetic light. The stories that they tell at their own expense draw laughs—and the story teller is laughing with them. In this regard, the stories told are actually more flattering than they are embarrassing. The stories send the message, or metamessage, that the storyteller is able not only to laugh at himself, but also to draw laughs from his audience, all the while coming across as likable and humble. What appears to be humility or lack of self-confidence actually serves a purpose more akin to a joke. And when a joke is told, conversational asymmetry is unavoidable as one man is doing the joke telling while the other functions as the audience (Understand 90). Thus, what seems like a way to put one’s self down is, in fact, one-upmanship.

Self-deprecation is a complex conversational tool. On the surface, it seems to be simply a way for the speaker to disparage himself. It also, however, can function as a tool for humility and compromise, a way to create conversational symmetry from a situation of asymmetry. The most subtle and fascinating way in which self-deprecation functions, however, is a bit of a paradox: by putting himself down, a man can actually build himself up. This is revealing of the extent to which conversation operates in ways that can be very deceptive. People, whether rich and famous or otherwise, can use conversation not just as a way to transmit information, but as a means to an end. Although this study involved individuals whose job it is to use words to play a character or keep a reputation in check, one need not be an Oscar-winning actor to reap the benefits of being a smart conversationalist. Conversation is not merely a straightforward exchange of words; it is a skill, that when used strategically and with great awareness, can help a speaker to get ahead—often without anyone else realizing that he is doing it.

GUIDELINES FOR WRITING ABOUT READING

Get beyond reading for the gist. Always mark a few key passages in whatever you read.

Whenever you read critically, actively look for the pitch and the complaint— what the writer wants to convince you of, and the position that he or she is reacting against. Also be aware of the moment—how the historical context qualifies the way we interpret the reading.

Experiment with passage-based focused freewriting. Find out what you think by seeing what you say.

Alternatively, keep a commonplace book. The act of copying out key sentences from a reading and perhaps jotting a few notes will inevitably lead you to remember more and discover more about what you are reading.

Paraphrase key passages to open up the language and reveal complexities