Writing That Works, 3e_ How to Communicate Effectively in Business - Kenneth Roman [28]
I enclose an addressed, stamped envelope.
Yours truly,
Assumes truthfulness
Admits possibility of own error
Suggests constructive action
Ask for payment courteously but firmly
Reduces likelihood of yet another “test” check
There is nothing in such a letter to irritate an innocent customer; nor is there any loophole for further delay on the part of a guilty one. Keep in mind that your purpose is not to make your reader angry, but to get the money that’s owed you.
How to complain
Never write just to let off steam. Write to get something done — your money back, or faster service, or a mistake rectified. Is the person who will read your letter at fault for what went wrong? If not, there’s no point in getting sore in your letter. While anger has its place in correspondence as in life, more often than not you’ll get better results from a cool, lucid statement of what’s gone wrong and what you’d like done about it.
Include everything your reader needs to know to take action — account number, item number, pertinent dates, form numbers, photocopies of canceled checks, photocopies of bills. If you leave anything out, you may have to wait through another round of correspondence before you make progress.
Put your complaint and what you want done about it in the first sentence.
The sweater I ordered for my son’s birthday never arrived. Please send another immediately.
Ask for a reply with a specific statement of what the next step will be:
Please let me know what action you plan to take, and when.
If you are not the person who handles this, please get my letter to the right person at once. And please let me know that you’ve done so, and who it is. I’d appreciate that information by Friday, May 10, at the latest.
Be clear. Be complete — and you can toss in a heartrending description of what you have suffered. Be firm. Be courteous. That’s the kind of letter that usually gets fast results. If it fails, raise hell. Write to the head of the organization and include all correspondence. Nine times out of ten you’ll get satisfaction from the boss.
How to answer complaints
Never be defensive. If the complaint is reasonable, say so — and say what you’re going to do about it. Neiman Marcus, the Dallas-based chain of department stores, has built much of its reputation on its responsiveness to customers. Here is how then-Chairman Richard Marcus replied to one customer’s complaint:
Dear Ms. Klugman:
I am astonished to learn of the shoddy service you recently received from our Mail Order Department, and there is no excuse for the lack of response and discourteous conversation you had with a member of our Mail Order phone staff.
I’m asking Mr. Ron Foppen, senior vice-president and director of our Mail Order operation, to investigate this matter immediately, and he will personally contact you within a few days.
I apologize for any inconvenience and embarrassment we may have caused you, and trust that we will have the opportunity of serving you better in the future.
Yours sincerely,
Richard Marcus
Accepts the complaint at face value
Says what he’s going to do about it
Apologizes
Asks for continued business
Far from being defensive, Mr. Marcus comes right out and calls the store’s service “shoddy” and says that “there is no excuse” for it. Despite the cliché apology, “for any inconvenience we may have caused you,” the entire letter sounds personal, sympathetic, and responsive.
What if you feel that the complaint lacks any justification? Say so, but be courteous. Intelligent readers are good at detecting the slightest hint of irritability or impatience. You should be at least as courteous on paper as you would be in person. Forthright and direct. Never sarcastic or rude.
When to use very short letters
A short letter — sometimes no longer than a sentence or two — can be highly effective.
It can establish your interest.
Dear Mr. Woodrow:
Your proposal interests us a lot. We’ll get back to you as soon as we’ve sorted out our budget problems