Wyrd Sisters - Terry Pratchett [50]
“I should warn you,” she said, “I am not, as I may appear, a simple apple seller.”
“Fancy that.”
“I am, in fact, a witch.”
This did not make the impression she had hoped. The guards exchanged glances.
“Fair enough,” said one. “I’ve always wondered what it was like to kiss a witch. Around here they do say you gets turned into a frog.”
The other guard nudged him. “I reckon, then,” he said, in the slow, ripe tones of one who thinks that what he is about to say next is going to be incredibly funny, “you kissed one years ago.”
The brief guffaw was suddenly interrupted when Magrat was flung against the wall and treated to a close up view of the guard’s nostrils.
“Now listen to me, sweetheart,” he said. “You ain’t the first witch we’ve had down here, if witch you be, but you could be lucky and walk out again. If you are nice to us, d’you see?”
There was a shrill, short scream from somewhere nearby.
“That, you see,” said the guard, “was a witch having it the hard way. You could do us all a favor, see? Lucky you met us, really.”
His questing hand stopped its wandering. “What’s this?” he said to Magrat’s pale face. “A knife? A knife? I reckon we’ve got to take that very seriously, don’t you, Hron?”
“You got to tie her hands and gag her,” said Hron hurriedly. “They can’t do no magic if they can’t speak or wave their hands about…”
“You can take your hands off her!”
All three stared down the passage at the Fool. He was jingling with rage.
“Let her go this minute!” he shouted. “Or I’ll report you!”
“Oh, you’ll report us, will you?” said Hron. “And will anyone listen to you, you earwax-colored little twerp?”
“This is a witch we have here,” said the other guard. “So you can go and tinkle somewhere else.” He turned back to Magrat. “I like a girl with spirit,” he said, incorrectly as it turned out.
The Fool advanced with the bravery of the terminally angry.
“I told you to let her go,” he repeated.
Hron drew his sword and winked at his companion.
Magrat struck. It was an unplanned, instinctive blow, its stopping power considerably enhanced by the weight of rings and bangles; her arm whirred around in an arc that connected with her captor’s jaw and spun him twice before he folded up in a heap with a quiet little sigh, and incidentally with several symbols of occult significance enbossed on his cheek.
Hron gaped at him, and then looked at Magrat. He raised his sword at about the same moment that the Fool cannoned into him, and the two men went down in a struggling heap. Like most small men the Fool relied on the initial mad rush to secure an advantage and was at a loss for a follow-through, and it would probably have gone hard with him if Hron hadn’t suddenly become aware that a breadknife was pressed to his neck.
“Let go of him,” said Magrat, pushing her hair out of her eyes.
He stiffened. “You’re wondering whether I really would cut your throat,” panted Magrat. “I don’t know either. Think of the fun we could have together, finding out.”
She reached down with her other hand and hauled the Fool to his feet by his collar.
“Where did that scream come from?” she said, without taking her eyes off the guard.
“It was down this way. They’ve got her in the torture dungeon and I don’t like it, it’s going too far, and I couldn’t get in and I couldn’t get in and I came to look for someone—”
“Well, you’ve found me,” said Magrat.
“You,” she said to Hron, “will stay here. Or run away, for all I care. But you won’t follow us.”
He nodded, and stared after them as they hurried down the passage. “The door’s locked,” said the Fool. “There’s all sorts of noises, but the door’s locked.”
“Well, it’s a dungeon, isn’t it?”
“They’re not supposed to lock from the inside!”
It was, indeed, unbudgeable. Silence came from the other side—a busy, thick silence that crawled through the cracks and spilled out into the passage, a kind of silence that is worse than screams.
The Fool hopped from one foot to the other as Magrat explored the door’s rough surface.
“Are you really a witch?” he said. “They said you were a witch, are you really? You