Wyrd Sisters - Terry Pratchett [51]
I am totally in control of the situation, Magrat told herself. I never thought I would be, but I am thinking absolutely clearly.
And she realized, in an absolutely clear way, that her padding had slipped down to her waist, her head felt as though a family of unhygienic birds had been nesting in it, and her eyeshadow had not so much run as sprinted. Her dress was torn in several places, her legs were scratched, her arms were bruised, and for some reason she felt on top of the world.
“I think you’d better stand back, Verence,” she said. “I’m not sure how this is going to work.”
There was a sharp intake of breath.
“How did you know my name?”
Magrat sized up the door. The oak was old, centuries old, but she could sense just a little sap under a surface varnished by the years into something that was nearly as tough as stone. Normally what she had in mind would require a day’s planning and a bagful of exotic ingredients. At least, so she’d always believed. Now she was prepared to doubt it. If you could conjure demons out of washtubs, you could do anything.
She became aware that the Fool had spoken.
“Oh, I expect I heard it somewhere,” she said vaguely.
“I shouldn’t think so, I never use it,” said the Fool. “I mean, it’s not a popular name with the duke. It was me mam, you see. They like to name you after kings, I suppose. My grandad said I had no business having a name like that and he said I shouldn’t go around—”
Magrat nodded. She was looking around the dank tunnel with a professional’s eye.
It wasn’t a promising place. The old oak planks had been down here in the darkness all these years, away from the clock of the seasons…
On the other hand…Granny had said that somehow all trees were one tree, or something like that. Magrat thought she understood it, although she didn’t know exactly what it meant. And it was springtime up there. The ghost of life that still lived in the wood must know that. Or if it had forgotten, it must be told.
She put her palms flat on the door again and shut her eyes, tried to think her way out through the stone, out of the castle, and into the thin, black soil of the mountains, into the air, into the sunlight…
The Fool was merely aware that Magrat was standing very still. Then her hair stood out from her head, gently, and there was a smell of leaf mold.
And then, without warning, the hammer that can drive a marshmallow-soft toadstool through six inches of solid pavement or an eel across a thousand miles of hostile ocean to a particular pond in an upland field, struck up through her and into the door.
She stepped back carefully, her mind stunned, fighting against a desperate urge to bury her toes into the rock and put forth leaves. The Fool caught her, and the shock nearly knocked him over.
Magrat sagged against the faintly jingling body, and felt triumphant. She had done it! And with no artificial aids! If only the others could have seen this…
“Don’t go near it,” she mumbled. “I think I gave it rather…a lot.” The Fool was still holding her toastrack body in his arms and was too overcome to utter a word, but she still got a reply.
“I reckon you did,” said Granny Weatherwax, stepping out of the shadows. “I never would have thought of it myself.”
Magrat peered at her.
“You’ve been here all the time?”
“Just a few minutes.” Granny glanced at the door. “Good technique,” she said, “but it’s old wood. Been in a fire, too, I reckon. Lot of iron nails and stuff in there. Can’t see it working, I’d have tried the stones if it was me, but—”
She was interrupted by a soft “pop.”
There was another, and then a whole series of them together, like a shower of meringues.
Behind her, very gently, the door was breaking into leaf.
Granny stared at it for a few seconds, and then met Magrat’s terrified gaze.
“Run!” she yelled.
They grabbed the Fool and scurried into the shelter of a convenient buttress.
The door gave a warning creak. Several