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Things happen in our lives so that we can learn from them. The reason I have had so many relationships that have not worked is because I have always tried to build for you what I did not have: a family. It did not work because you have to do what you do because you want to do it, not because you are trying to make up for something else. My lesson in life was to live with what was given to me, see the good in it, and strive to do better. I spent most of my life trying to find the father I did not have growing up. I did not realize it at the time, and I have only recently learned my lesson. Now you must learn yours.

Old eyes can see much better than young eyes. As parents, we often see what our children are doing and want something better for them. Unfortunately, we do not always know how to say what we see, so we say the wrong thing. I have told you from the very beginning, your relationship with your wife was not built on a stable foundation. It always appeared that she was using you to escape the unstable relationship she had with her mother. Perhaps what I should have said was, “Damon, I know our family life has not been what you wanted or needed: however, you can make your own life what you want it to be. If you want the best, you do not have to settle for less than the best.” In your eyes, your wife was/is the best for you, but what are you comparing her to? The environments to which you have been exposed have not been the best. The people you have known have not been the best. How can you evaluate what is good and what is bad if you have only experienced mediocre?

I see what you are doing and have done, because my eyes are sixteen years older than yours are. I am not saying that things will not work out for you and your wife. That, I do not know. What I am saying is that, at twenty-three years old, your eyes are still closed. When you have spent more than seventeen of those years in my house, looking at life through my eyes, and another almost three years in and out of prison, how many years have you really used your own eyes? And when you did use your eyes, what did you see? Quick ways to make money and break the law. Ways to make yourself feel important in violation of man’s law and God’s law. You are still blind as to what life is really all about. The Bible says, “Eyes have not seen and ears have not heard what God has in store for those who love Him.” You are still blind as to who you are and what God has in store for you.

If you think God made you to be “crushed” by a mere human woman who comes from the same God you do, you cannot know God. How do you know why God brought you into this woman’s life? Maybe you came to save her, to help her, to teach her a lesson. Now you want things to go the way you think they should go, not the way God planned. In the past, you were very good to your wife and her mother. Perhaps you were the tool God was using to help them out. When God’s plan is fulfilled, you must move on to the next phase of the plan.

If you believe God brought your daughter onto this earth for you to take care of, you are not only blind, you are dumb. Kahlil Gibran wrote a book entitled The Prophet. In that book he wrote, “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life searching for their own. They come through you but they are not from you. Although they are with you, they belong not to you.” God has a divine plan for us all. Our job is to tap into the energy of God and bring ourselves into alignment with that plan. Sometimes things do not go the way we plan or the way we think they should go. That does not mean we are wrong or that God is wrong. It simply means we have to dig a little deeper, search a little harder to find the meaning, the lesson.

There are many things I wish I could have done for you and your sisters that I did not do. That is because I had my own blindness and sickness to heal. That does not mean I was wrong or bad. It simply means I had to work to get my eyes open. That did not happen for me until I stopped the drama