• Choose a category
• All
• Classic-Fiction

By Root 893 0

your wife. You have broken your marriage vows by being unfaithful and not fulfilling your responsibilities as a husband “to love, honor, and obey.” The fact that your wife uses your name, if she does, and the fact that you exchanged vows do not mean a thing. Where is the honor? You have not honored her. She does not honor you “in sickness and in health.” Right now, you are in a state of sickness. Where is your wife? “For richer, for poorer.” Aren’t you poor in spirit and finances right now? Where is your wife? And where were you when she needed you? You cannot correct a wrong, Damon. You can learn a lesson, ask for forgiveness, and move on. You cannot build for your daughter what you did not have, because that may not be what she needs. You can give her what you do have, with the best intentions and unconditional love. It will be up to her to accept or reject what you give her.

The truth of the matter is that you have always had two parents. I have always been your mother. Gary has always been your father. You have always known where I was. You have always known who and where Gary was. We may not have lived together, but you have always had a father. You also had Grandpa. You had John. You had Eddie. You had Adeyemi. None of them was your biological father, but they were there for you when your biological father was not. You must accept your blessings, however they come. You have always had a man in your life. John, however badly he treated me, never let you children be without everything you needed. You had a home. You had food. God knows you had clothes. While you were growing up, there was nothing you needed that you did not have. It was not until you were sixteen that things got bad for us. Think about it. What did you ever do without? You were eating shrimp for lunch when you were five years old. There was always a man to play with you, nurture you, and support you. There was a male presence there for you at the worst of times. Each of these men treated you the same way they treated their own children; in some cases, you were treated better. It is unfortunate that when they left me, they also left you. I always asked them to speak to you. They chose not to.

If you are saying that you wanted your father in the house, that is a different issue. Knowing the kind of person your father is, tell me what difference would it have made for him to be in the house? He has proven himself to be irresponsible, emotionally unavailable, selfish, and undependable. These are things you have discovered about him. You said, “He is and always has been out for himself.” Is that the kind of father you wanted present? Is that the kind of man you would want me to live with? Knowing what you know about him, would you have wanted me to go through life with your father? Think about it. When you love someone, you want them to be happy, even when their happiness means you must make a sacrifice.

Your father separated himself from me when I was three months pregnant with you. He demonstrated that he did not respect me as a woman, nor as the mother of his son. He is not to blame or at fault. The truth is, Damon, I did not respect myself. I did not know who I was or what I had come into this life to do. I was a sick, frightened young girl, with no guidance. I was looking for love in the bed. I was using my vagina instead of my head. There is no reason I should have had sex with anyone when I was sixteen years old. Your father and I did not have a relationship. We were not even boyfriend and girlfriend. I was looking for a daddy. He had a hard-on. It is really that simple. Why you chose, in your spirit, to come through our bodies is part of God’s plan for you. If you want to know why, ask God. I realize it is not easy to accept certain things about your mother, but you must remember I have not always been your mother. I came into this life with my own issues, challenges, and obstacles to overcome. When you came into my life, I was knee deep in a pile of crap. Unfortunately, you had to walk through it with me. God knew that it would someday pay