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I had been fighting all of my life. Fighting for attention, fighting for love, fighting for survival. I had been fighting for my children, and fighting for acknowledgment as a human being who mattered. I had been fighting so long that if there was nothing to fight, I would find something or someone to fight. I expected to fight, so when I was confronted with situations, I would pick a fight. I had become defensive, aggressive, and combative. I didn’t want to fight anymore. I didn’t want to fight fear, or doubt, or even loneliness. What I wanted to do was heal. And I wanted to do it peacefully.

Everything I put in that book was what I needed to get through a difficult period of my life. I was coming to the understanding that God is my defense and my defender. Every morning I would pray, ask God what to write, and God would tell me. If I needed information, I was told who to call. When I needed to talk, someone would call me. The members of the ministry fed my family while I was writing. Some gave us money, others cleaned my house. It was as if the entire universe opened up and sent me everything I needed. Gemmia stayed home and braided hair. Nisa went to school. I wrote all day and sometimes into the night.

When I would get tired or frustrated, I prayed. When I prayed, I felt better. In the process of writing, I reviewed every journal I had ever written. I recalled every conversation I had ever had with Balé. I was hearing the same old things in a brand new way. Things that Grandma, Daddy, and Nett had said to me had a fresh, new flavor. Things I had read became clearer, more focused. I put it all in the book. I put my heart and soul in that book. I put the love I was finding within myself in that book.

One day at Kinko’s, while I was printing out my pages, one of the clerks asked me if I was a writer. I told her I was.

“I do typing work at home when I’m not here.”

“How much do you charge?”

“A dollar a page, but that includes all corrections, too.”

I gave her the pile of papers in my hand, took her telephone number, and left. Now all I had to do was write.

I finished Acts of Faith in about two months. I missed my deadline, but I finished the book. I had no idea how good the book was, because I never read it. I figured out early on that the reason I had been assigned by the universe to write that book was to open my heart to God. When I finished the book, I did my list again.

What is your favorite color?

Orange.

What is your favorite food?

Chicken.

What is your favorite song?

“Order My Steps.”

What is your most valued possession?

Love.

What is your greatest strength?

God.

What is your greatness weakness?

Not trusting God.

What is your best skill?

Prayer.

What was your greatest mistake?

Thinking I could do anything without God.

What is your greatest fear?

I have no fear. I know God is always with me.

What is your greatest accomplishment?

Learning to forgive and love myself.

What is the one task that you are least fond of doing?

Cleaning up China’s crap.

If your life ended today, what is the one thing everyone who knows you would say about you?

That she loved and served God.

What would you want them to say?

She loved God.

Why wouldn’t or couldn’t they say what you would want them to say?

Because they didn’t know Iyanla. They only knew Rhonda.

Shortly after the manuscript was turned in, Gemmia, the cat, and I moved to Maryland. Nisa stayed in Philadelphia to complete a program that was training her to become a home health-care worker. Two years later, on the same date that I had found out Nisa was pregnant with Oluwa, she gave birth to her second son, in my house, on Oluwa’s bed. His name is Adesola, which means “the crown has come.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

What’s the Lesson When You Let the Past Pass?

Richard Jafolla, in Soul Surgery

Soul Surgery changes our consciousness. And in changing our consciousness it releases us from our problems and prepares us for our good. But unless our consciousness remains