Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [140]
The minute I put the pen down, my body stopped shaking and the tears dried up. I took a deep breath, closed the journal, and went for a walk. I had to be with and integrate this new information.
The day after my revelation, I was still not ready to speak to Karen, but I knew I had to bring closure to our experience. It was an experience that kept me in the shadows of guilt. My fear was that I was not yet strong enough in Iyanla’s identity to endure the tongue-lashing I believed she would give me. I called Ken to share with him my dilemma. “Don’t call her, write her. You don’t have to be punished. If you really believe she will abuse you verbally, why would you call? The issue here is not how you do it; the issue is that you get it done. Write her.”
What an absolutely brilliant idea! It doesn’t have to be hard, Iyanla. It doesn’t have to hurt.
I wrote Karen a five-line letter.
Dear Karen:
I got it! Thank you. Our time together has come to an end. I am so grateful to you for all you have done for me. I am grateful for your willingness to participate in my healing. I know that sometime in the future our paths will cross again. Take care of yourself.
Be Blessed!
Iyanla
After I mailed the letter to Karen, I notified everyone who needed to know about the change in our relationship. In the process, I discovered that Karen was away on vacation and would not be back for two weeks. On the day she was scheduled to return, I called her to tell her about the letter. She asked me what it said. When I told her, she said, “Oh. Okay. Did I do something? Are you mad at me about something?”
“No, Karen. This is not about you. This is about me learning to take care of myself. You have been nothing but a blessing to me.”
“Okay. Just know that if you ever need me I am here.”
“I know that, and I thank you.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
What’s the Lesson When You Do It All Wrong and It Turns Out All Right?
Eventually, the time of action must come. When this happens, be a winner! Don’t settle for mediocre results. Don’t try to stay even. Go for it all!
Deng Ming-Dao, in Everyday Tao: Living With Balance and Harmony
I KNEW THE MOMENT I saw him.
We were talking on the telephone for the first time in years. I brought him up to speed on the recent events of my life. And he, in turn, told me what was happening in his life. He was ending a five-year relationship. Four months earlier, I had ended a three-year relationship. Now we were talking to each other about all of the things we had learned.
Adeyemi was still living in Atlanta. He had put three of his sons through high school and was facing an empty nest. He sounded like a mother about to lose her children. Once again, he was turning to me for counseling. I knew this was not going to be a case of me being in his head, but I wasn’t quite sure how to say it.
He must have known it too, although I think it took him a little longer to catch on than it took me. I was a different person now. Iyanla had been born. She was still growing, but at least she knew who she was and what she wanted. I also knew that no matter what happened, I was going to love this man for the rest of my life. I would love him no matter what he decided to do. I had learned how to love from a distance, and I was just glad that we were talking.
Over the next few months, we talked a great deal. Every day, in fact. No matter where I was in the country, I would call. He was having a hard time, coming out of one relationship,