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If there is one point that I hope has come through in this story, it is that children must be celebrated and taught to celebrate themselves. Positive reinforcement is absolutely essential to the development of a healthy sense of Self. When children are allowed to live day to day, making strides, learning, and accomplishing without being recognized or celebrated, their sense of value is diminished. More important, children must be celebrated, honored, and valued, not for what they do, but because they are. We must not only let children know that we love them, we must be glad about loving them. We must begin to have parties for our children “just because.”

If, as an adult, you cannot find or do not feel the necessity to celebrate something about yourself, it is probably a reflection of what you experienced as a child. It is a pattern you may choose to want not to continue. I was never celebrated, not my birth, my life, or my accomplishments as a child. As a result, I did not feel welcome. My existence did not matter. I learned what to do but never that it was okay to “just be.” In preparing this book, I realized that of all the experiences in my life, the one that had the most devastating effect was not being celebrated or being made to feel welcome. It was worse than any beating or cruelty I experienced. It seems like such a small thing to have someone say, “Thank you for being alive.” Or “I am so glad you are here.” I will never know for sure, but I feel that to have heard that would have made a major difference in my life.

Hoping that this story is your story and that my healing is our healing, I remind you to celebrate yourself and your life each and every day. There is always a good reason to have a party. The reason is you! In closing, I share with you something that I pray will make it easier for you to move through your life experiences. It is something that Grandma taught me when I was six years old.

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31:

I am not sure why Grandma, of all people, made me memorize this particular verse, but I do know that in everything there is a seed of good.

Be Blessed! I am!

Table of Contents

Cover Page

Title Page

Copyright Page

Acknowledgments

Dedication

Contents

Preface

Introduction

Yesterday I Cried

The Beginning

Chapter One What’s the Lesson When You Think You Figured Out the Lesson and You Really Haven’t

Chapter Two What’s the Lesson When You Are an Unwanted Neglected and Abused Child

Chapter Three What’s the Lesson When You Do Not Realize That You Are a Teacher

Chapter Four What’s the Lesson When You Don’t Realize That Life Is a School

Chapter Five What’s the Lesson When You Are Poor Ugly and Feeling Bad

Chapter Six What’s the Lesson When You Are Raped as a Child

Chapter Seven What’s the Lesson When You’ve Been Taught That You Are Unlovable

Chapter Eight What’s the Lesson When You Don’t Reconcile Your Past Before Moving Ahead

Chapter Nine What’s the Lesson When You Engage in Self Destructive Behavior

Chapter Ten What’s the Lesson When You Are a Motherless Child Raising Children

Chapter Eleven What’s the Lesson When You Learn the Lesson Then Forget It

Chapter Twelve What’s the Lesson When You Begin to Recognize Yourself as Who You Really Are

Chapter Thirteen What’s the Lesson When You Lose Someone You Really Love

Chapter Fourteen What’s the Lesson When You Have Mastered All the Wrong Lessons

Chapter Fifteen What’s the Lesson When You Try to Cheat on a Test

Chapter Sixteen What’s the Lesson When You Don’t Love Yourself First

Chapter Seventeen What’s the Lesson When You Get the Lesson but Don’t Know What to Do With It

Chapter Eighteen What’s the Lesson When You Let the Past Pass

Chapter Nineteen What’s the Lesson When You Do It All Wrong and It Turns Out All Right

Epilogue