Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [54]
“Do you trust me? I would understand if you didn’t. I know it has been hard for you to understand why I left you at Aunt Nadine’s for so long, so that’s why I would understand if you didn’t trust me anymore.” Nett’s question and the aftertaste of the greasy french fries gave way to a sour taste in Rhonda’s mouth. Somehow she knew where Nett was headed, and it was making her sick to her stomach. Rhonda simply said she understood; she didn’t like it, but she did understand.
“Since we are friends, and since you do trust me, will you tell me the truth if I ask you something?” Rhonda was beginning to squirm. Then she thought, “Maybe she’s going to ask me about stealing money.” That wasn’t the question, but what Nett asked was directly related. “Has your uncle ever touched you? Has he ever put his hands under your clothes or anything like that?” Rhonda stared at her across the table. She knew she’d throw up if she opened her mouth.
“I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I don’t like it.” All of a sudden, Rhonda was burning hot. Then she began to shiver as if the temperature in the diner had suddenly dropped to subzero. Bloody underwear flashed in her mind, and she could smell the stench of stale liquor. It started as a murmur, but by the time it spilled out of her mouth, Rhonda was screaming, “Stop it! Stop it!” When she realized she was talking to her friend in a public place, she changed the statement, but not the volume. “Don’t ask me that! Don’t ever ask me that!”
People at nearby tables were staring. Nett must have realized what was about to happen, but she couldn’t get out of her seat and around the table fast enough. Rhonda was now wailing so loudly that one of the waitresses came over and asked if everything was all right. Oh sure, Rhonda thought, people always have breakdowns in diners. Nett waved the woman away as she tried to slide off the diner bench, pulling Rhonda along with her.
Rhonda was trembling and wailing. Nett tried to help her stand, then walk. They made it through the diner and through the maze of people trying not to stare. Nett guided Rhonda into the ladies’ room, where Rhonda fell to her hands and knees and crawled to the nearest corner. By then, Nett was crying too. She walked over to where Rhonda was cowering and sat down next to her. They sat crying and rocking for a long while. A few ladies who entered offered them tissues. Others just stared. Nett didn’t say a word all the way home, or the next day when she arrived to help Rhonda load her belongings into the back of a taxicab. It took Ray about two weeks before he decided to join them.
With school, homework, three dance classes a week, drill team practice, and household chores, it was a wonder Rhonda had any free time at all. Let alone time to get pregnant.
She and Reggie talked about sex for a long time. Eventually the talking gave way to the doing. They started going to “hooky” parties with other kids from the community band they both played with. They’d skip school and spend the day partying. When Ray would become suspicious because he hadn’t seen her in school, Rhonda would skip the hooky parties and attend classes for at least the next few days. It was purely accidental that Rhonda discovered that on days she was at school, Reggie was spending his time at the hooky parties locked in a room with a girl named Beverly. Reggie admitted that he and Beverly had been “together.” Rhonda was crushed. Her silence around the house alerted Nett, and it wasn’t long before Rhonda told Nett everything. It precipitated their first “womanhood” talk. Unfortunately, the talk came too late.
There are things that young girls with budding breasts and plump round bottoms need to know about becoming a woman. Unfortunately, at the time they need to know these things, their circumstances may be transitional. Their families may be unsettled or dysfunctional. The women in their lives may be busy, ill, or absent. Or the women may be too uncomfortable to talk about the