Yesterday, I Cried_ Celebrating the Lessons of Living and Loving - Iyanla Vanzant [79]
The money John gave her helped meet expenses, but it wasn’t enough. The Miss Restoration Plaza Beauty Pageant offered a prize of one thousand dollars, a seven-day, six-night trip to Aruba, and, among other things, a set of luggage. Grandma’s dressmaker made the gowns, Nett sprang for a trip to the beauty parlor, and Daddy and his wife watched the children while she went to rehearsals. Entering the pageant not only gave Rhonda something to do besides warding off John; she began to dance again. She prepared her talent presentation as if it were the reason she was born, and the night of the pageant, she executed it with precision. When the mistress of ceremonies announced her as the winner, Rhonda could see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a small, dim light, but it was bright enough for her to see the handwriting on the wall: You are beautiful! You can make it!
Tony was a bonus prize. He was a radio disc jockey who lived with his girlfriend. He worked for the radio station that had promoted the pageant. After Rhonda won, Tony interviewed her on his program. They hit it off, and eventually Rhonda was spending her days at his house while John and Tony’s girlfriend were at work. Every day, Tony would write a new poem for Rhonda; and every night, he would read it over the air. After three months, Rhonda had a glow about her that everyone, including John, could detect.
John was way off base. He accused Rhonda of being a lesbian. He was convinced that she was sleeping with the woman who had served as talent coordinator of the beauty pageant. Sherry was just a friend, Rhonda assured him. She had recognized Rhonda’s dancing ability and wanted her to teach the children in the community. John said she “looked like a dyke,” and insisted that Rhonda tell her never to call the house or be in the presence of the children. He was so consumed with the mistaken belief that Rhonda and Sherry were sexually involved that it took him a while to realize that Rhonda was seeing another man.
John was coming home more often now, which made it a little more difficult to hide the glow. Rhonda continued to spend as much time with Tony as she could get away with. Little by little, she had shared her pageant winnings with him until they were totally depleted. One gray, overcast day, Rhonda went to Tony’s house, had sex with him, then fell asleep. She woke up to find that fourteen inches of snow had fallen, and transportation in the city had come to a standstill. Buses had stopped. Trains were stuck. Cars were being abandoned along the roadside. Rhonda was stranded. Before she could decide what to do, Tony’s girlfriend put her key in the door.
Tony shoved Rhonda into the bedroom closet, throwing her clothes on top of her. Eventually, Tony’s unsuspecting girlfriend went into the bathroom and closed the door. Tony snatched Rhonda out of the closet, led her through the apartment, and pushed her into the hallway. Rhonda had her clothes in hand and was wearing nothing but one of Tony’s shirts. She went down the stairs and into the basement, behind some trashcans, and put her clothes back on. She stomped through the calf-high snow to the closest telephone and called home. John had picked the children up from school and wondered why she wasn’t at home when they arrived. Rhonda explained to John that she had been downtown in a store during the unexpected snowfall. When she came out, she said, the buses had stopped running. The lie sounded good to her, but when she finally got home two hours later, she found out that good wasn’t good enough.
Very early in her life, Rhonda had learned that if she made people mad at her, they would hurt her. She had learned that when you do not do what people want you to do, they will blame you for upsetting them, making them