You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense - Charles Bukowski [24]
and I had wild fist fights with each of
them
once or twice a week.
the fights lasted 3 or 4 hours and we came out
with
smashed noses, fattened lips, black eyes, sprained
wrists, bruised knuckles, purple
welts.
our parents said nothing, let us fight on and
on
watching disinterestedly and
finally going back to their newspapers
or their radios or their thwarted sex lives,
they only became angry if we tore or ruined our
clothing, and for that and only for that.
but Eugene and Frank and I
we had some good work-outs
we rumbled through the evenings, crashing through
hedges, fighting along the asphalt, over the
curbings and into strange front and backyards of
unknown homes, the dogs barking, the people screaming at
us.
we were
maniacal, we never quit until the call for supper
which none of us could afford to
miss.
anyhow, Eugene became a Commander in the
Navy and Frank became a Supreme Court Justice, State of
California and I fiddled with the
poem.
love poem to a stripper
50 years ago I watched the girls
shake it and strip
at The Burbank and The Follies
and it was very sad
and very dramatic
as the light turned from green to
purple to pink
and the music was loud and
vibrant,
now I sit here tonight
smoking and
listening to classical
music
but I still remember some of
their names: Darlene, Candy, Jeanette
and Rosalie.
Rosalie was the
best, she knew how,
and we twisted in our seats and
made sounds
as Rosalie brought magic
to the lonely
so long ago.
now Rosalie
either so very old or
so quiet under the
earth,
this is the pimple-faced
kid
who lied about his
age
just to watch
you.
you were good, Rosalie
in 1935,
good enough to remember
now
when the light is
yellow
and the nights are
slow.
my buddy
for a 21-year-old boy in New Orleans I wasn’t worth
much: I had a dark small room that smelled of
piss and death
yet I just wanted to stay in there, and there were
two lively girls down at the end of the hall who
kept knocking on my door and yelling, “Get up!
There are good things out here!”
“Go away,” I told them, but that only goaded
them on, they left notes under my door and
scotch-taped flowers to the
doorknob.
I was on cheap wine and green beer and
dementia…
I got to know the old guy in the next
room, somehow I felt old like
him; his feet and ankles were swollen and he couldn’t
lace his shoes.
each day about one p.m. we went for a walk
together and it was a very slow
walk: each step was painful for
him.
as we came to the curbing I helped him
up and down
gripping him by an elbow
and the back of his
belt, we made it.
I liked him: he never questioned me about
what I was or wasn’t
doing.
he should have been my father, and I liked
best what he said over and
over: “Nothing is worth
it.”
he was a
sage.
those young girls should have
left him the
notes and the
flowers.
Jon Edgar Webb
I had a lyric poem period down in New Orleans, pounding
out these fat rolling lines and
drinking gallons of beer.
it felt good like screaming in a madhouse, the madhouse of
my world
as the mice scattered among the
empties.
at times I went into the bars
but I couldn’t work it out with those people who sat on the
stools:
men evaded me and the women were terrified of
me.
bartenders asked that I
leave.
I did, struggling back with wondrous six-packs
to the room and the mice and those fat rolling
lines.
that lyric poem period was a raving bitch of a
time
and there was an editor right around the
corner who
fed each page into a waiting press, rejecting
nothing
even though I was unknown
he printed me upon ravenous paper
manufactured to last
2,000 years.
this editor who was also the publisher and
the printer
kept a straight face as I handed him the ten to
twenty pages
each morning:
“is that all?”
that crazy son of a bitch, he was a lyric
poem
himself.
thank you
some want me to go on writing about whores
and puking.
others say that type of thing disgusts
them.
well, I don’t miss the
whores
although