150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [66]
SATANIC YUPPIES (AKA, “EVIL AMBITIONS”)
B+ Productions, 1996
PRODUCERS Jeff Barklage, Denis Roland (executive producers), Mark Burchett and Michael D. Fox (producers)
WRITERS Mark Burchett and Michael D. Fox
DIRECTORS Mark Burchett and Michael D. Fox
STARS Paul Morris (Pete McGavin), Amber Newman (Brittany Drake), Debbie Rochon (Madame Natalie), Ranae Raos (Leslie Kellog), Lucy Frashure (Julie Swanson), Randy Rupp (Satan), and Rob Calvert (Lester)
A reporter struggling to rise above the level of a tabloid writer and return to his glory days (Morris), stumbles upon a Satanic cult in the form of a public relations agency, a cult seeking to give Satan the perfect bride. Will the story be the reporter's path back to the big time, or will it take him straight to Hell?
Why It Sucks
Satanic Yuppies really wants to be television's Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1974) but can't quite get there. It gives one of the screen's great Satans (played by Randy Rupp), and Paul Morris makes a good stand-in for Darren McGavin, but most of what surrounds them is half-baked. On the other hand, the idea of a PR agency being a Satanic cult appeals to me.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Worst Script Award goes to … Mark Burchett and Michael D.
Fox for undermining an otherwise decent movie with jokes that were trite even in 1996, (such as Rush Limbaugh being a client of the Satantic agency).
And the Worst Actress Award goes to … Glori-Anne Gilbert for some of the unsexiest gratuitous nudity during a Satanic ritual I've ever seen. (Her breasts are bigger than her head!)
They Really Said It!
Brittany Drake: Do you, Julie Swanson, take Satan as your eternally wedded mate? To have and to hold — Julie Swanson: [Screams into gag] Brittany Drake: We'll take that as a yes.
Betcha Didn't Know
For almost as long as they've been making movies, Satan's been in 'em. In 1896, French magician and filmmaker Georges Méliès created House of the Devil, a two-minute silent film featuring a bat transforming into the devil.
“Yuppies” is derived from an abbreviation of Young Urban Professionals. It was first used in print in a 1983 column by writer Bob Greene. He did not coin the phrase, and its origins remain murky.
Trivia Quiz
Who wrote the scripts for the Carl Kolchak movies The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler?
A: Jeff Rice
B: Ray Bradbury
C: Stephen King
D: Richard Matheson
Answer: D. Richard Matheson, author of I Am Legend, has written dozens of horror and science fiction short stories. I Am Legend has been made into a movie five times.
SKELETON KEY
Darkstone Entertainment, 2006
PRODUCER Rebecca Taylor
WRITERS John Johnson (script), Jimmy Belcher and Neil Wagner (story)
DIRECTOR John Johnson
STARS John Johnson (Howard), David Simmons (Nicopernicus), Liam Smith (Neil), Karthik Srinivasan (Cornelius), Chris Jenkins (Dr. Qubert/ Mr. Sniffles), Jay Barber (Dr. Noches), Denise Shrader (Sandy), and Codo the Dog (himself)
A tabloid reporter and his photographer (Johnson and Srinivasan) take a cab driven by a Haitian immigrant (Simmons) to the town of Nilbog to discover who's been shipping zombies via parcel post to unsuspecting people. What they find is evil and madness manifested in every conceivably crazy way and a mad scientist (Barber) trying to export this evil to the rest of the world.
Why It Sucks
Skeleton Key is a low-budget film that mocks low-budget amateurish horror films using all the techniques and technical know-how on prominent display in amateurish horror films. Along the way, it takes swipes at the fans of such movies — which include yours truly.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Too Much of a Good Thing Award goes to … Liam Smith for his portrayal of Neil. This movie nerd, who is both a character in the film and watching it as it unfolds, is the center of some really funny breaking-the-fourth-wall humor, but he is so annoying and over the