150 Movies You Should Die Before You See - Miller Steve [90]
And the Worst Directors Award goes to … David Hillenbrand and Scott Hillenbrand for crossing a stoner comedy with a spoof of classic horror movies and still not being able to come up with anything that inspires more than a chuckle.
They Really Said It!
Cliff: I've got the perfect way to pick up girls. I tell them I'm a vampire hunter.
Betcha Didn't Know
Transylmania died harder at the box office than a vampire venturing outside at high noon. It opened on roughly 1,000 screens and only brought in around $400,000.
Before teaming with his brother to direct stoner comedies, David Hillenbrand worked as a conductor and music coordinator on a number of different television series, including Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.
Trivia Quiz
What was the first movie to feature vampires and mad scientists in the same story?
A: House of Dracula
B: House of Frankenstein
C: Son of Dracula
D: Nosferatu
Answer: B. House of Frankenstein featured John Carradine as Dracula and Boris Karloff as a mad scientist. It also included Frankenstein's Creature and the Wolfman
UFO: TARGET EARTH
Jed Productions, 1974
PRODUCER Michael A. DeGaetano
WRITER Michael A. DeGaetano
DIRECTOR Michael A. DeGaetano
STARS Nick Plakias (Alan Grimes), Cynthia Cline (Vivian), and Ed Lynch (University Professor)
Alan (Plakias) and his psychic sidekick (Cline) search for evidence that a UFO has crashed in a remote, backcountry lake, and of a possible government cover-up.
Why It Sucks
Even before it's clear just how bad the script for this film is, viewers will recognize what a lack of vision and focus can accomplish for a director. Among the disjointed, ineptly filmed, amateurishly acted scenes we are also treated to a couple of pointless references to 2001 and 1970s occult culture. And they present it in the most turgid and mind-numbingly dull fashion — at least to those of us who aren't high on 'shrooms and whatever else might be handy. I'm sure the filmmakers thought they were being artsy, but the film appears to have been made in the outer reaches of the No Talent Zone.
Thumbs Down Rating:
The Crappies
The Special Achievement in Helping the Cover-up Award goes to … Cinematic jack-of-trades Michael A. DeGaetano. Listen to late-night talk radio or even watch an episode of the Fox series Lie to Me, and you'll discover how the government is covering up UFOs. Watch this movie, and you'll be so bored with the topic, you won't care if the truth is here, out there, or anywhere.
And the Worst Actor Award goes to … Nick Plakias, who performs in this film with no changes in facial expressions or vocal inflections; every line is delivered with the vacant tone of a heavily medicated mental patient.
They Really Said It!
Alan: Something is bothering me. Partly, it's a scientific curiosity.
Partly it's just curiosity.
University professor: Do you understand the difference?
Allen: Does anyone?
Betcha Didn't Know
This is the one and only film appearance for the stars of this movie. In fact, the most accomplished cast members in the flick — some of the bit players — appeared in small roles in as many as three other films.
Nick Plakias went onto a career as a stage actor and a folksinger. In 2002 he also had a small part on an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
Trivia Quiz
Which actor's break-through role saw him playing an alien visitor to the planet Earth?
A: John Wayne
B: Ray Walston
C: Robin Williams
D: Orson Welles
Answer: C. In 1978 Williams guest starred on television's Happy Days as Mork, a visitor from the planet Ork. The character was such a hit that Mork was given his own show, Mork and Mindy, which ran from 1978 to 1982
THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS PALS
Eola Pictures, 1966
PRODUCERS David C. Graham (executive producer) and Alex Grattan (producer)
WRITER T. L. P. Swicegood
DIRECTOR T. L. P. Swicegood