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A Million Little Pieces - James Frey [154]

By Root 1041 0
of her again, I will find you and I will fucking destroy you.

You threatening me?

I’m warning you.

I’m real scared.

Try me now.

Fuck you and your dirtbag whore. Fuck you both.

Bobby laughs. The man stares at me and I stare back. I drop the cup of coffee I am holding in my hand it hits the ground it distracts him and as soon as he looks I’m on him. I grab his hair and jerk his head back and press my thumb into his neck just below his Adam’s apple. I press hard. The flesh is soft and my thumb sinks deep and he starts gagging, choking, losing breath, suffering. Out of the corner of my eye I see Bobby step out of his chair and start to move I see Leonard step forward and push him and I hear something I don’t know what I hear. Leonard says something and Bobby immediately stops. I see Leonard lean toward Bobby and I see his mouth move more words that I cannot hear. Bobby sits down.

I press. Into the soft flesh. I look into the man’s eyes. I let him know that I could kill him. He is gagging. Choking. Losing breath. Suffering. He is helpless. He knows it and I know it. His life is in my hands. I am looking into his eyes. I speak.

If you ever say another thing about her, I will kill you.

I press harder.

I will fucking kill you.

I press harder.

I will fucking kill you.

I let go. Step away. The man starts coughing. Clutching his throat. Breathing and taking as much air as he can as fast as he can. He’s hacking, spitting, gagging. I could have killed him. I wanted to kill him. I take two steps toward Bobby, who is sitting on his chair. He is pale, white, gray, sick, as if the Reaper has told him the end is coming. I spit in his face. I wait for a reaction, but there is none. He just stares straight ahead. I don’t know what Leonard told him, but I know there will be no more words. There will be no words from either of them.

I walk out of the Unit and I walk down the Hall. I’m shaking with rage and the afterburn of fear. I’m shaking with horror and the residual rush of violence. I’m shaking with adrenaline. I’m shaking with the Fury like I have never felt it before. The Fury raised to defend someone I love. Greater than I have ever felt it before.

I want a door. I see a door. I hit the door and I’m out the door. Into the cold, gray morning. Into the wet, heavy air. I clench my jaw my fist the muscles in my chest. I clench everything tight. I breathe through my nose as deeply as I can. The wet, heavy air. I can feel it soaking into my cells I can feel my cells draining it. I can feel my cells draining me.

The door opens and Leonard steps out. He doesn’t say a word just lets me breathe. The breathing empties me and the need to clench fades. The Fury fades. I have done what I could what I felt was right. The violence was unfortunate but the unfortunate was necessary. Sometimes skulls are thick. Sometimes hearts are vacant. Sometimes words don’t work. The violence was necessary.

I take a last breath the final the deepest and I let it out. I look at Leonard and he speaks.

You okay?

Yeah.

You know what they said doesn’t matter.

I know.

And you know it probably isn’t true.

It’s true. I know it’s true.

How do you know that?

I just know it is.

Doesn’t matter anyway.

I know.

That you love her is all that matters.

Yeah.

Don’t forget it, Kid. Love is all that matters.

I nod.

Yeah.

He puts his hand on my shoulder.

I’m proud of you for what you did in there.

I guess.

You gave him a chance and then you let him off. Those are two things I never do. You also sent the message, crystal fucking clear.

I chuckle.

What’d you say to Bobby?

I told him my name. My full name.

I laugh.

That’s it?

Leonard nods.

It’s more complicated than you think, but yeah, that’s it.

Thanks for backing me up.

Always.

I owe you one.

You don’t.

I do.

He shakes his head.

You don’t.

I motion to the door.

Let’s go to breakfast.

We walk back inside through the Halls down the Corridor. I look for Lilly she is not there. We get in line a plate of eggs and beans we find our friends. They have heard about my confrontation, I don’t want

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