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We come around the front of the main set of Buildings and Julie suggests we sit on the benches, the same benches I was on earlier. As we get close to them, Lilly stands up with a small, frail Elderly Woman. She takes the Elderly Woman’s hand and they start walking toward us. Lilly smiles at me.

Hi, James.

Hi, Lilly.

This is my Grandmother.

I smile at her Grandmother, who has long white hair and Lilly’s blue eyes.

Hi.

She smiles back. It is a kind smile.

Hello, James.

I motion to my Brother and Julie and Kirk.

This is my Brother Bob, these are my friends Julie and Kirk. This is Lilly and her Grandmother.

Lilly smiles.

Hi.

Bob and Julie and Kirk all smile, say hello. Lilly’s Grandmother speaks.

What happened to your face?

I got hurt.

Did you hurt yourself?

Sort of.

Why’d you do that?

I didn’t do it on purpose. It’s just the cost of doing business.

Her Grandmother smiles and she gently touches my face with her free hand.

I hope that’s a business you’re leaving, James.

I smile, enjoy the warmth of her hand.

We’ll see.

She nods. Her eyes and her hand understand my words, have seen and felt this type of damage before. There is no judgment and no condescension. Just hope.

It was nice meeting you.

You too.

She looks at Lilly and she smiles.

We should go, Sweetheart.

Lilly looks at me and she softly speaks.

Bye.

I return the look, the tone.

Bye.

She looks at Bob and Julie and Kirk.

Nice meeting all of you.

Bob and Julie and Kirk speak together.

Nice meeting you too.

Lilly and her Grandmother leave and I watch them and they hold hands and they walk toward the Buildings. No judgment, no condescension. Just hope.

When they’re out of earshot, Julie playfully pushes me.

Who was that?

That was Lilly.

I know that, but who is she?

A girl who’s here and was taking a walk with her Grandma.

Julie pushes me again.

Come on.

I laugh.

I met her when I first got here. I don’t really know her.

She likes you.

I walk to the middle bench, sit down.

Whatever.

Bob and Julie and Kirk follow me, sit down.

Kirk speaks.

Have you heard from—

I cut him off.

No, and I won’t.

Julie speaks.

It was that bad?

Yeah, it was that bad.

Bob pulls out a cigarette, offers me one.

Smoke?

I take it, light it. The nicotine feels good.

Buddy?

I stare out at the Lake.

I haven’t really asked yet, but are you doing okay?

I stare out at the Lake.

I don’t know.

There is an uncomfortable silence. I’m not looking at them, but I know that Bob and Julie and Kirk are looking at one another. Julie speaks.

Do you feel okay?

I don’t know.

Kirk speaks.

Do you feel better?

I don’t know.

My Brother playfully punches my shoulder.

What the fuck, Buddy. You gotta talk to us.

I turn to him.

I don’t know what to say.

What are you gonna do?

I don’t know.

Julie speaks.

You’ve got to get better.

I don’t know if I can.

Bob speaks.

Why?

Because I’m fucked up and I’m fucked up really bad. I don’t know what happened or how I ever ended up like this, but I did, and I’ve got some huge fucking problems and I don’t know if they’re fixable. I don’t know if I’m fixable.

Julie speaks.

Everything’s fixable.

That’s easy to say, much harder to do.

My friend did it.

I’m not your friend.

Bob speaks.

You gotta try, Buddy.

We’ll see.

No, not we’ll see. You gotta fucking try.

I stare out at the Lake, take a deep breath.

I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

There is an uncomfortable silence. I’m not looking at them, but I know that Bob and Julie and Kirk are looking at one another, I know they’re trying to figure out how to proceed. Bob speaks.

Have you talked to Mom and Dad?

I laugh.

I don’t want to talk about that either.

Do me a favor and call them.

Where are they?

At the House in Michigan. They go back to Tokyo tomorrow.

All right.

Julie speaks.

Have you talked to anyone else?

Anna, Lucinda and Amy.

How are they?

Fine, I guess. They’re all happy I’m here.

A lot of people are happy you’re here.

I doubt that.

Kirk speaks.

We’ve gotten a bunch of calls