Best Friends Forever - Irene S. Levine [90]
Rx for Better Health: Friendship
According to a research team at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), social isolation is linked to gene alterations that drive inflammation, the first response of the immune system. In a study funded in part by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the researchers found that “the biological impact of social isolation reaches down into some of our most basic internal processes, the activity of our genes.”
“We found that changes in immune cell gene expression were specifically linked to the subjective experience of social distance,” said said Steve Cole, MD, of the UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology In other words, people in the study who felt more closely connected to other people had stronger immune systems. “The differences we observed were independent of other known risk factors, such as health, age, weight, and medication use. The changes were even independent of the objective size of a person’s social network. We found that what counts at the level of gene expression is not how many people you know, it’s how many you feel really close to over time.”
Another study confirms that good friendships and a good number of them are associated with better health, a combination of the two being the best prescription of all. The study of four thousand people in California showed that survival was linked to the size of one’s social circle. Women with fewer than six friendships had significantly higher rates of coronary artery disease, obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and depression, and were at two and half times greater risk of death over the course of the study.
A study that followed 1,500 Australians for more than a decade found that a network of good friends was more important than close family ties in conferring longevity, irrespective of other profound changes (such as death of spouse or relocation of family) in an individual’s life. In addition to helping ward off depression and decreasing stress, close friendships can play a role in discouraging unhealthy behaviors (such as smoking or drinking too much).
Friendship and Self-Confidence
Findings of the Chain of Confidence poll:
• 88% of women would rather give up shopping for a year than give up their female friends for a year.
• 89% of women feel that they are able to succeed after hearing how a friend overcame a challenge to reach her goal.
• 67% of women say they feel more confident when they are able to help someone solve a problem.
• 63% of women feel more confident when they relate better with their peers.
It isn’t easy going from that initial friendly glance to making a true friend. How many times have you wanted to befriend someone and felt uncertain about how to go about it?
MAKING FRIENDS
When you’re a kid, making friends is easy. There’s a new friend to be found wherever you turn: at school, next door, or on the playground. But once you graduate high school or college, making friends doesn’t come as easily, and women need to be more proactive. To make new friends, you need to actively engage with other women. For some people, this comes naturally. For others, especially if you tend to be shy, the idea of finding and making new friendships can be daunting.
I tend to be shy, so I challenged myself to experience the discomfort of signing up for a Scrabble course at my local library without knowing anyone who would be there. I enjoy playing whenever I can muster up a partner. Although I am nowhere near the level of a tournament Scrabble player, I play well enough that no one I know likes to play with me. I was hoping I could find a compatible player at the library on that Thursday afternoon.
When I entered the meeting room off the main section of the library, I momentarily worried that I would wind up being the only person in the room sitting at a table by myself. Intellectually, I knew I would probably connect with someone; but viscerally, for those few seconds,