Bike Snob - Anonymous [33]
I know I’m doing my part. Besides commuting to work in street clothes, making “extreme mayo runs,” and riding to social engagements, I also race my bike. In a single day, a non-cyclist might see me on three different bikes in three different outfits. In only twelve hours I’ve done the work of a Righteous Cyclist, an Urban Cyclist, and a Roadie. I’m like a Voltron of cycling dorkitude. I think that’s way more effective than a “One Less Car” sticker.
Don’t Be Stupid
When it comes to cycling, it’s essential to be without fear and to ride your bike whenever and wherever you want. However, it’s also essential to be smart. This may seem obvious, but there are a lot of stupid cyclists out there. There may even be as many stupid cyclists as stupid drivers, proportionately speaking. And even though stupid drivers are more of a risk to others in that their vehicles are really fast and heavy, the stupid cyclists are just as big a risk to themselves.
Admittedly, though, the cyclist also has more of an excuse. In a world that’s prejudiced against cyclists it’s no surprise that so many people don’t learn how to ride properly. And when I say “properly” I don’t mean having a fluid pedal stroke, or wearing the right gear, or pulling off into the wind when riding in a paceline. I’m talking about really simple things, like not going the wrong way down a one-way street. But because so many people think that riding a bike is something that children do, a lot of adults actually do ride bikes like children.
Cyclists who ride against traffic (also known as “bike salmon”) or who ride on the sidewalk are even worse for cycling than dumb drivers and poor street designs. First of all, every time a non-cyclist sees a bike salmon it reaffirms their notion that cycling is a pastime for children and crazy people. Second of all, there’s nothing more irritating than riding along with traffic at a good clip only to encounter some idiot coming at you head-on. Generally, they react to you in one of two ways: (1) they smile at you, as if to say, “Hey, we’re both on bikes! Isn’t this great?” No, it’s not great! And I have no intention of moving for you, either. If one of us is going to have to veer suddenly into traffic, it’s going to be you; or (2) they look at the space just above your head to avoid eye contact, because they know they’re doing something stupid and they’re embarrassed. This is even more annoying than the first scenario. I’ll take some beaming idiot over some craven person who can’t even look me in the eye any day.
Even though we’re forced to live in a world that’s not designed for us, there are certain laws that make complete sense for everybody. Stupidity begets stupidity. Have you ever run a red light when the coast is clear, only to almost get hit by a cyclist who’s got the light but whom you didn’t see because he’s going the wrong way down a one-way street? I have. At that moment, you’ve stepped into a vortex of anarchy and poor judgment, and you don’t know whether to get angry at the other rider, get angry at yourself, or just get naked and dance around in the middle of the intersection because, hey, you might as well. Naturally, cyclists want to be treated as serious vehicle users by motorists and non-cyclists. And in order to be treated that way the most important thing is to actually use your bicycle as a serious vehicle, and not to ride it like you’re a ten-year-old in a suburban cul-de-sac. That doesn’t mean you should take crap from drivers, or yield when others should actually yield to you, or even that you should obey every stupid law that doesn’t take your best interest into account. But it does mean that you forfeit a certain amount of credibility when you ride against traffic while on a cell phone and then just hop onto the sidewalk when things get too hairy.
Coping with Anger
It’s no wonder that there’s so much anger out there. After all, the streets are teeming with drivers and riders and pedestrians, all of whom think that their own claim